Split
by Icemask12
Summary: L is surprised to find the son of his trusted colleage Soichiro Yagami in a psychiatric hospital, but Raito seems perfectly normal. However, there is more to him than meets the eye, and some experiences run more than skin deep...LxLight in later chapters.
1. Panic

A/N: So, due to my newfound obsession with diseases of the human psyche (heh, I now know what classes to take in high school!) I have decided to write a ficcy that incorporates them. Sorry about other stuff I've been ignoring folks, the going's been tough and I'm not in the mood to do anything lighthearted anyway (besides mindless crack). Sorry if I offend anyone who actually DOES have any of these conditions, I'm trying to make it as accurate as I can, but I have taken a few, ah, artistic liberties with them. I'm also farking with ages, relationships, you name it! I was actually really feverish when I started writing this a while back, and I just now got around to actually getting it in a good condition to be published.

Delirium is actually kind of fun, but not when the floor decides to warp and trips you up while you're holding hot soup D:

Note: I am really sorry about the random lines that sometimes appear, I can't make them go away! Please ignore them unless they are dividing present time from flashback (in italics) or demonstrating a timeskip.

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Home

That was the thing that bothered him most about it, they called it a home. They dressed it up in comfy chairs and colorful paints, but it was most definitely not a home. It might have been a generalization on his part, but homes don't have bars on the windows. Homes don't have masses of sterilized needles, or, usually, padlocked doors.

Like his

Maybe he wouldn't mind it so much if they just started being honest and called it what it really was

A prison

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A hopeless case.

That was what they told L, his cousin BB was most definitely a hopeless case. And he'd had to accept it with a sigh and a nod, because he had expected as much himself.

And then BB himself had grown mad, and when BB was angry, he was prone to throw things, and it was with great relief that L had decided to leave the problem to the staff. He excused himself from the room (narrowly avoiding the book that had sailed past his head) and walked down the hallway, through a swarm of patients, visitors and nurses. It was hard to tell who was who, with the patients and visitors. Some of the patients looked so completely normal, like they didn't belong here at all.

Sometimes when people think of a mental hospital, they think of a dark, towering building from the twenties with plain white walls, bare light bulbs and electric shock treatment. Not so much the case here, L thought as he looked around him.

All in all, it was a very pleasant facility. There were hardly any like this left, the term 'mental hospital' being considered unorthodox (the place was, indeed, a high quality psychiatric hospital) but he himself might not mind staying here, if ever the pressure got to be too much (although it was just a musing thought, he still felt uncomfortable thinking about it).

L sighed and slouched, his worn, hated sneakers squeaking against the tile floor of the hall. Sometimes he felt the patients understood him better than 'normal' people. They were, for the most part, certainly kinder towards his general appearance. He frowned, allowing himself to pout a little.

If he'd been back home, it would be time for Watari to bring him cake. BB had liked cake too, before he'd had to come here…was there cake here? He'd have to look into that.

L looked around, wondering if it was safe to go back to BB yet without risking having an armchair launched at him. Probably not, they'd probably come get himwhen his cousin was ready…if he ever calmed down, that was.

L sighed again (inwardly remarking on how much he was sighing today-was that normal?) and lowered himself onto an armchair near the reception desk, putting his legs beneath him and taking up his normal half-crouch sitting stance.

He surveyed the room. It was a pleasant, pale blue; the light wood of the armchair matched the color of the wooden desk, and of the other chairs. There was even a small bookshelf, filled mostly with magazines and newspapers (L figured that magazine racks were easily breakable, and could he hazardous in a place where people such as BB resided).

There were three armchairs and a couch in the little nook, with a coffee table squeezed in the middle, and a stack of coffee cups balanced precariously in the center. There was also an end table attached to his armchair, with an adjoining armchair on the other side, currently occupied by someone dwarfed behind an overlarge newspaper. An overweight man in a too-tight suit slept on the couch, but the other chairs were vacated, other than one that a pacing woman would sit in for a few moments whenever she passed.

The newspaper rustled, and a young man appeared from behind it, suddenly, like a magician had pulled him out of a hat. L turned, looking at him. The boy, a few years younger than himself, looked very familiar-

"Yagami Raito?"

Raito looked up, confused, the newspaper coming down "Yes. Who are you?"

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_Breathing heavily, rain drenching his copper hair, Yagami Raito stopped to catch his breath, leaning against a dirty brick wall. He looked around; this alley was on a street close to the water._

_He was lost, and most definitely in a bad part of town, a smoky bar a little way down the road was pouring out a mass of drunks, college students, and poker players, who all seemed to know the area better than he did._

_He was so tired…it had to be at least three in the morning; he'd never find his way back to the hotel at this rate. Raito looked down the alley, which was decorated with a few dumpsters and a newspaper blowing forlornly down the street. _

"_What a stupid place for a class trip." He muttered to himself, straightening up. Sure the museums in the city were nice, but after hours, when the students slipped away from their chaperones and hit the night town, the city seemed like a threatening place, at least to him, but maybe it came from being the son of a police officer._

_He always seemed to be more cautious, aware of danger, and they mocked him for it, but he knew he was right, remained silent. He recalled an earlier conversation with a friend, who'd wanted to slip away from the class during the museum tour and look around on his own "I think it would be fun. Do you wanna come?" _

"_Honestly, do you have any idea how many murders happen when people go off alone?"_

"_No…maybe you should try being a little less uptight, huh? Have some fun once in a while?" _

"_Being brutally murdered isn't exactly my idea of fun…" _ _It was true, more murders did happen when people were alone. _

_He'd gone out to try to find a drugstore to buy some headache medicine, and now he was cold, wet, and hungry, wandering the city like a lost dog. _

_Now _he_ was alone. _

"_Maybe we should all be wearing collars with identification tags." He murmured, the mental image of a bunch of high school students in collars amusing him for all of three seconds. _

_The rest of his junior class was probably back at the hotel, wondering where he was…if they'd noticed he was gone yet. Maybe they were trying to convince an unsuspecting bartender that they were college students instead of high school students. Despite feeling tired and wet, Raito smiled inwardly, yes, that was exactly what his so-called-friends would do-_

_There came a crashing blow to his head, and hands ensnared his neck_

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"So you work with my father, right? Then it's an honor to meet you, Ryuga-san…"

L had explained briefly and evasively of the relationship between him and Raito's father, and only said that he had worked with him-it wasn't exactly a lie, but Raito had never asked if they'd actually _met…_

L figured it wasn't cordial to lie when you'd only known someone for about ten minutes.

"Please, call me Ryuzaki. But I do work with your father…Yagami-san is a good man; he has a strong sense of duty. He is very proud of you, speaks of you sometimes…"

"Yeah…I hope to follow in his footsteps one day." Raito looked at L appreciatively, then checked his watch, sighing. "I've still got time. Are you here visiting someone?"

"Yes, I've got a cousin. You?"

"Oh…well, actually, I live here." replied Raito, a tinge of pink appearing in his face. He had to learn to stop being so self conscious…however; L didn't seem to mind, taking it all in stride.

Soichiro had never told L that his son needed psychiatric help…then again; it wasn't exactly L's business to know. He looked the boy over. Handsome, anyone could see that. Proud in the way he sat too, like he was prepared to fend off any insult someone might throw his way. "Ah. I see." He nodded, obsidian eyes searching, so much portrayed in the few words.

Raito shifted uncomfortably "Yeah well…I'll still go to school in the fall. It's not like I'm raging mad or anything."

"It's okay, I understand why you're not comfortable talking about it. You don't have to tell me anything." But L was curious now, and the words were more like a silent invitation for Raito to open up and start spilling his guts.

"Oh. Well, thank you." Brown eyes narrowed _"But you want to know, freak, don't you?"_

Raito looked at him a second longer, as if trying to recognize a long forgotten face, then tried to smile. It looked normal enough, but, as L noticed when he looked closer, it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"_It's none of my business Raito-kun, but really, I am curious…what's wrong with you?" _Are you waiting for something? I can't imagine your favorite place to hang out is the lobby…"

A shrug "It's calm sometimes. I am waiting for an appointment, yes." Raito drawled casually, not bothering to elaborate.

L didn't miss the hesitancy "I am waiting for a cousin of mine…he gets rather angry sometimes, you know. I suppose I'll go see him again after he's calmed down." The detective remarked wistfully, half-hoping that his own elaboration would elicit a more detailed story from the boy.

It didn't "Well, I guess I'll see you around then."

"I guess so, Raito-kun. But for now, if you are not busy, would you like to chat?" The question was phrased innocently enough, but Raito could hear, oh, he could _hear_ the other man's true intentions.

Or maybe he was just being paranoid again.

"I thought we were chatting." Raito offered wryly.

"Perhaps, but I believe we were merely conversing to pass the time while we waited for our respective appointments. Which is not quite the same as chatting." L gnawed thoughtfully on his thumb "but now we may speak more in depth, yes?"

"Er…whatever you say, Ryuzaki." Raito raised his eyebrows, Ryuzaki was, if nothing else, certainly shaping up to be a character. "So who's your cousin?"

"Do you know about a resident named Beyond Birthday? Nicknamed BB…"

"Oh, him! He's batshit insane, isn't he?" asked Raito interestedly. He'd thought Ryuzaki reminded him of someone. "Everyone's always careful to avoid his room, because who knows what could happen when you annoy a guy like that…sorry." Finished the teen lamely, remembering only too late that he was speaking to the "batshit insane" man's close relative.

L raised his eyebrows, and a smile tugged at his lips "Raito-kun is very forward. Most people I speak with do not voice their thoughts as openly as you, even though I can clearly read what they are thinking."

"People tell me I'm good at that too…like right now, for example. I can tell you really want to know why I'm here, right?" drawled Raito, abandoning the formality that kept L from asking. This was way more interesting.

L's head lilted to the side, as if he was thinking. "I would, actually. But Raito-kun is in no way obligated to tell me, at the moment. However, if he would be so kind as to oblige and quench my curiosity…"

Raito fought down the anger that welled inside him _"Who does this guy think he is that I'll just spill my guts about something like this so openly?"_

L gave a pained expression that was rather reminiscent of indigestion "I've made Raito-kun mad, haven't I?"

"You certainly have made 'Raito-kun' a little annoyed, yes." Raito muttered, lowering his eyes from L's. It wasn't an action of defeat, he was too proud for that. It was more like an 'I'm-not-going-to-look-at-you-unless-you-fix-that-last-comment' gesture.

"Then I'm sorry, Raito-kun. I will make it up to you by getting you some coffee-"

"That's really okay-"

"-No, I insist-" L reached out for the coffee cups sitting on the table, but his sitting position made him overbalance slightly and his hand pushed past the coffee cups, grabbing onto the other side of the coffee table for support while the pile of cheap porcelain fell to the floor, shattering on impact. The overweight man across from them woke up with a jolt, and L cringed internally with every new crash. He turned to Raito to apologize, only to find the boy gripping the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Raito?"

_-It was way too much, it kept bringing back old memories, and now he hated the sound of glass shattering-_

"Raito, can you speak? Should I call a nurse?"

_-the tile floor was covered in glass and blood, and he wasn't sure what caused what-_

"Nurse! Please, he's shaking violently; I think the shattering of the glass set it off…"

"He might have to be sedated, please stand back sir-"

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_Raito lay with his back against the wall, shivering. He brushed his fingers against the ground, felt broken glass and recoiled, more from instinct than from the barely registered pain. _

_His hair was matted with blood, and the rest of him must look like a wreck. He didn't want to open his eyes to inspect the damage, didn't dare to, hoping maybe it would be a dream when he woke up. _

_-Waking dream, waking nightmare, it was called lucid dreaming, he remembered-_

_He could hardly remember what happened…he tried to think, summon the images, but despite being incomplete and broken they were strong, too strong, fresh in his mind. He gave something like a whimper and slumped slightly, letting his head loll out. _

_His body slid sideways, and soon the grimy tile floor had risen up to greet him. It was wet and hot, and hurt his face, not the liquid itself, just the gentle impact of his head against the linoleum. He suddenly realized how much it _hurt_._

_-He was on fire-_

_His head was splitting open, and there was fire inside, and fire in his lungs, but not fire, snakes, not burning but biting him when he tried to breathe. He panicked, tried briefly for some hold on the floor to get up, and slipped in the warmth of the liquid, splashing up._

_-throat hurts, where is everyone-_

_Summoning every ounce of mental and physical strength he had, he cautiously opened one eye, and was promptly stung, gasping at the sudden, sharp pain, closing that eye and opening the other one. He was staring at a red ocean, a dark almost black red ocean, which reflected the streetlight outside._

_-It hurt, hurthurthurt, and there were still splinters of ice, sharp, in his chest-_

_And suddenly he couldn't breathe, couldn't see, and the night was pitch black._

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**A/N:** Oh! I'm sorry for writing a new fic while I still have to update _11 Years Before_, I just couldn't get this idea out of my head! I'm also sorry this first chapter is very short, but the next one will definitely be longer. I know psychological-disease-Raito has been done before, but I hope to put a new twist on it in later chapters. I would also like to thank **paradisemomiji, Snowywolf94, AntoinetteRinSohmaHyuuga, **and **Sempai-chan **(who does not actually have an account on fanfiction, although she should) for giving me feedback on my story, and **AntoinetteRinSohmaHyuuga** for not letting me get away with stupid grammatical mistakes, and being my first beta. I hope you liked!

Please rate and review,

Icemask12


	2. Silver

A/N: Wow, thanks for the reviews and alerts and favs and stuff! They motivate me to write faster  this story got a better initial response than _11 Years Before_! I would also like to note that as of yet I have nobody beta-ing this chapter because all my normal betas are on vacation, and I wanted to have this out by the Fourth of July, so if you see any mistakes just point them out. I'll have this beta-d later, so you can check it again later for a revised version if you like.

And by the way, Happy Fourth of July for those of you in the US! I will be celebrating today with an All-American tradition-forgetting that I'm supposed to be eating better and gorging my heart out.

Then again, I still probably won't eat very much because I'm never very hungry. Go figure.

Enjoy!

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He was wading through the deep darkness, and his mind picked up random details and clung to them, his lifeline to reality, however perverse and twisted that reality was.

_-Broken glass on the tile floor-_

He was being smothered and started to panic, trying to claw his way through the dark water that enshrouded him, but his limbs were just too _heavy_…

-_The streetlight outside illuminating the man's face-_

White light broke through, but everything was dizzy and confusing, and he felt sick to his stomach.

_-the blood on the glass was fading-_

Ratio broke through the haze of darkness.

Sight came first, and with it he saw blinding light, florescent and biting, and dark spots moved across his vision. After that he regained his hearing, the sharp beeps of the machine measuring his heart rate that cut across the murmur of the voices in the hall, which seemed to rise and fall like ocean tides. He listened to the tides for a while, until the tinkling of something tapping against glass broke him out of the dreamlike state he'd been in.

Raito looked over to the glass door that led to the hall, and realized the entire transition from unconsciousness to wakefulness couldn't have taken more than a few seconds, even though it felt longer. He heard the gentle clink again, and turned his head to the other side. A man sat in a chair by his bedside, knees drawn up to his chest, and in one hand held a plate of half eaten velvet cake. There was another clink as he put the fork down on the plate, and relocated it to Raito's bedside table, so that he could turn his attention to the boy in question.

"I see you are awake, Raito-kun. I was worried, you know."

Raito didn't reply for a few seconds. He'd definitely seen the man before, but it felt like his head was stuffed full of cotton, and his thought process had definite holes in it. Suddenly recognition dawned:

"Oh…Ryuzaki-san? You're still here…"

"Ah, here I remain. I have been here since you collapsed so unceremoniously-"

"Why?" Raito cut across him.

L blinked "I wanted to find out what had happened." He was silent for a moment, then "It was the shattering of the cups that set you off wasn't it?"

Raito stared at him for a few seconds before replying slowly "Yeah...you could say that. I've come to associate the sight and sound of glass breaking-" he shuddered "-with bad memories."

"Very bad memories, by the looks of it. Would Raito-kun care to tell me why?"

"Would Ryuzaki-san care to keep his nose out of my private business?" the snide remark earned Raito a glare which he returned with vehemence.

"Even if you don't choose to tell me, I can-and probably will-look into your personal files." L stopped speaking in third person abruptly. He often spoke in third person to distance himself from people, and the sad thing was, it worked. Of course, it might have just been his odd demeanor, but the alienation of people through his roundabout way of speaking had to help too.

Raito stared at him a moment before shaking his head disbelievingly "Do you have any respect for people's privacy?"

"Not usually," L paused to lick the last crumbs of cake off his fork "but I respect yours. That's why I'd rather you'd just tell me now, because I could promise not to go snooping in your files, but at some point I would probably, ah, forget that promise-the curiosity becomes unbearable, you see-and go look anyway. I might get the wrong idea."

"Fine! If you really must know…I suffered head trauma." Sighed Raito, feeling slightly defeated. He _would_ make sure to gain ground on this guy though-to make up for it.

"What sort of head trauma?" L asked, tilting his head to the side and giving the uncannily resemblance of a wide-eyed owl.

"The sort of head trauma you get when your head gets slammed into the ground." Raito snapped "Honestly, just how interesting did you think it was?"

"More interesting than you made it out to be, considering that you refused to tell me at first. I would have thought that with all that time to think up a lie, you would have come up with something a little more…hm…creative?"

"It's not a lie!" Raito fumed, trying to sit up to fast and falling back onto the headboard.

"Perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps I was not satisfied with the answer you gave me. Perhaps I want to know _how_ Raito-kun got his head trauma."

"I fell. Obviously. Ryuzaki, what do _you _think happened?"

L gnawed vigorously on his thumb, noting a faint chocolate taste. Probably from the cake. "I am not sure. But I can't help being curious, and you're very bad at lying."

"I…am not even going to honor that statement with a reply. Ryuzaki, don't you have somewhere to go? Why hang around here?"

L ceased chewing on this thumb, wiping it on his jeans before replying quietly "I don't, as a matter of fact, have anywhere else to go at the moment. Can I help it if I'm lonely?" L looked at the ceiling wistfully, reclining slightly in the chair "I suppose I could always go visit my cousin. But I find your company much preferable to BB's."

Raito couldn't think of a reply for this, other than "Well…thank you."

The two of them sat silently, Raito awkwardly playing with the corner of the bed sheets, and L staring past him, past the ceiling, past the sky, at something only he could see.

"Wait-Ryuzaki, do you like chess?" Raito blurted, feeling the need to make up for his rudeness earlier.

L blinked, startled from his silent reverie "I do, actually. You have a set here?"

"Well-yeah! I get bored a lot, so sometimes I play myself." said Raito, hoping it didn't sound as weird as it did in his head.

He scrambled out of bed, his previous weakness forgotten, and padded over to a plain, lightwood set of drawers. He pulled out the top drawer, quickly surveyed the contents, then shut it and pulled the one under it open. Out of this drawer he produced a battered cardboard box, with peeling gold letters that proudly proclaimed it '_Authentic Oak Wood Chess Set'_.

L raised an eyebrow "I'm very good, you know. Have you played long?"

"Only since I was eight." said Raito, his competitive nature starting to show. He placed the box on the bedside table "You want to be white?"

L moved his chair a bit closer, helping to set up his own pieces. "He who moves first always wins, Raito-kun."

"Maybe, maybe not." said Raito playfully "We'll have to find out, now won't we?"

"I've played since the age of six. Good luck." L allowed himself to smirk a bit-he never lost at chess, not since being taught the basics of the game.

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Half an hour later into the game, both geniuses were starting to sweat.

L had Raito's king in check, and after the removal of the bishop defending Raito's king, the teen was forced to make the piece run around the board, leading the older man on a wild goose chase past two vicious rooks and particularly daring knight.

"Hah!" declared L triumphantly as Raito's king fell into the line of fire-blocked in three different directions. "Check-"

"Oh! Ryuzaki-san, I'm so sorry! I have to make up for my appointment!" Raito shot up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, grabbing a notebook and pencil.

"Not at all, Raito-kun." sighed L, feeling strangely deflated and aggravated at the same time. "I am sure what you are doing is of the utmost importance. But next time, you will not be able to get out of a game so easily!"

"Is that what I was doing?" asked Raito innocently "I wasn't aware, Ryuuzaki-kun! I'll be sure to finish the game next time-" he stopped suddenly, looking embarrassed. Why had he automatically assumed there'd be a next time?

L saved him from probably blurting out something stupid by stepping heavily out of his chair and shuffling towards the door "Now that you mention it, I should probably go see BB-it's been a while, he'll have calmed down by now."

"Yeah…I can walk with you there, if you like."

L didn't respond, merely moving past the teen, leading him out the door.

"So hey, can we talk more when you come back here? It was nice having company." said Raito as he sped up to walk beside L.

"Don't tell me Raito-kun hasn't made any friends or acquaintances with his excess charm?" asked L, a playful glint in his eyes.

Raito groaned "Don't even talk to me about it. It was hard enough trying to connect to people at school, imagine how hard it would be here. I haven't had an intelligent conversation in ages. That's why it would be nice if you came back sometime."

L looked at him thoughtfully "I'd like that too. But I am afraid I might not be able to."

"What? Why not?" demanded the teen, almost stopping abruptly.

"Well…my line of work is a bit dangerous. As a rule, I do not make friends, unless they are friends within the business. If anyone ever found out who I was, it would be dangerous for anyone hanging around me, you see. They could use my friends against me. I prevent that by not having any."

Raito looked skeptical "So what you're saying is that you're like Superman?"

Whatever L had been expecting-an argument, disappointment, or even laughter-it wasn't that. "Excuse me, Raito-kun?"

"You know, Superman-flies through the air, strength of a million men or whatever-haven't you ever read a comic book?"

L vaguely recalled a faded image of a man in ridiculous blue tights, found in the comic books in Wammy's attic, where he had spent many a bored afternoon. "I recall Superman, but I do not see how you can compare him to me."

"Well, you know-Lois Lane always wanted to marry him, but Superman said he could never get married because if they found out he was, they might try to get to him through her. Although it seems to me they did that enough without the ring. But what you're saying, pretty much, is that you don't want to make friends because you're afraid of creating a Lois Lane? Someone you'll always be responsible for if they get hurt?" Raito sounded easy, slightly uncaring, as if he doubted L's mysterious enemies could take him on.

"Actually…I never thought of it that way, Raito-kun. But yes, I suppose I cannot make friends because if something ever happened to them, it would be my responsibility. I can't afford to take that risk."

Raito snorted "I don't know about you, but I highly doubt that your 'enemies' would come bursting in a psychiatric hospital to take out a teenager who isn't even allowed to leave without a pass. I'm not that dangerous, am I?" he sounded playful, but there was a hard undertone to his words. L looked at Raito, surprised. Was that bitterness?

"I would rather not take the risk, but if I do happen to come back, then I will make sure to play chess with you. I must admit, I too have trouble finding intelligent conversation." L stopped as he saw he was standing in front of BB's room, then sighed and turned to face Raito, reaching out to shake his hand "And here we must part, Raito-kun. I'll see you around."

Raito gave a thin-lipped smile "I've got to go to. See you." He turned and hurried off down the hall, running his fingers through his hair as though trying to give it a quick, last minute brushing. L watched him until he turned the corner, then sighed and walked into BB's room.

His cousin was sitting on the bed, knees drawn up to his chest, and was clutching them as if trying to shield himself. As L walked over and sat down in the chair next to his bed much in the same manner, he watched unblinkingly, then looked toward the door and remarked "I see you made a new friend?"

L internally breathed a sigh of relief, glad that BB was lucid. The moments when he was lucid were sometimes enjoyable, but they were growing rare and far apart. "Yes. You know him?"

BB snorted "Know him! Of course I know him, sneaking down here at all hours of the night and giggling to himself. You sure know how to pick 'em."

L frowned "He sneaks down here? Why?"

BB groaned "Well how should I know? It's not like I'm allowed to leave the room without supervision! But he, he gets more freedom then I do, can you believe! Even though he's much more dangerous than I am." BB muttered something unintelligible.

L sat still, trying to process the information "What does he do that makes him so dangerous?"

"He's dangerous. Much more dangerous than poor little me." BB stuffed a fist in his mouth to avoid giggling, than removed it. "Let's just say I'm very glad my door is locked when he comes down here, and I watch him through the window." Remarked the younger man as he licked the saliva off his hand "He comes down with his silver, he comes down with his silver and tries every door. He tries every door in the hall, and then leaves."

"His silver? What do you mean by that?" asked L, growing slightly alarmed. If Raito was dangerous, and he'd been alone with him for so long-there had been so many chances for him to have done something to L.

"He comes down here with his silver, and he turns every door handle. We lock our doors at night if they don't do it for us. I bet I'm not the only one who doesn't sleep easy until he's gone."

L looked at BB, putting a hand on his shoulder "Have you told the nurses? Have you told them that he comes down here with his…'silver'?"

BB snorted "I don't bother. He doesn't come every night, and you know what happened to the last person who made him mad? To the last person who forgot to lock the door? I remember, because it was in the room right next to mine. I remember, I remember, I remember." BB dug his fingernails into his knees and began rocking back and forth, repeating the words like a mantra "I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember…"

L grabbed BB's shoulders "Calm down, please calm down. It's okay, but you've got to tell me what it is you remember. You've got to tell me what 'silver' is…" L stopped, horrified as realization dawned "His silver! Are you telling me he's got a knife?" L's usually monotone voice had grown just slightly frantic; he had no idea why this was worrying him so much.

It wasn't like he lived here.

But still he made cooing noises, and BB stopped, looked into his eyes, and shuddered "Hello, mirror. I remember."

L drew back, realizing the brief lucidity of before was gone, which meant the conversation was virtually over. He stood up, determined to find a nurse, and padded over to the door "I'll come back to see you later, BB. I've got to find a doctor."

"Oh, Mirror, one more thing."

L, who had been halfway out the door, turned to look at BB "Yes?"

"Lock the door when you leave, Mirror. Lock the door, because I remember..."

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"I assure you, Raito has not been out of his room at night. He's a good kid, you know." L hurried to keep up with the doctor, a white haired, broad shouldered man who had a surprisingly fast pace for his age. Another doctor, who looked to be in about her mid thirties, assented "Yes. It's probably your cousin's imagination, you know."

L sighed, exasperated. His protests kept falling on deaf ears, but still he persisted "But BB said all the patients locked their doors…and he said something happened in the room next to his. Who lives in the room next to his?" BB's room was at the end of the hall, and there was no room on the left side of it, but one on the right.

"It's empty. The kid who was here before kept having night terrors. Convinced the room was haunted, we had to move him." The man snorted, as if he doubted the boy's room was any more haunted than a Janitor's closet.

"Can I talk to him?"

"Maybe later. I think he might be in therapy right now, so you'll just have to wait." replied the woman, grating on L's nerves. He stopped. "Well, thank you for your time. But I'd like to see him later."

"If you really must know" snapped the man, taking out a clipboard and flipping through the sheets of paper stuck through it "He's in room B68. Little white-haired kid. Pale as a ghost, you can't miss him. But wait an hour or so, okay?"

"For the therapy to end?"

"Yeah. It's like, what time is it now, about 5:30? Go in at 6:30, 7:00 maybe."

"Thank you for your time. Is there a waiting room?"

"Well, yeah. There's the one in the lobby, but it's kind of noisy, so if you want you can wait in the one between the B and D hallways. It has a coffee maker." Remarked the woman, her eyes resting on the bags under L's.

L thanked them once again, albeit not very enthusiastically, and went to find said waiting room.

He found it easily, it had whitewashed walls and gray carpet, and a window which fading light shone through. There was a rather ragged plaid couch with magazines on it, their glossy covers reflecting the gold of the fading sunlight, and there was a ceiling light overhead, but at the moment the only light came the tiny, winking green glow of the coffee maker, and the sunlight overhead.

For once not in the mood for coffee, L sat on the couch, and finding it to be surprisingly comfortable, reclined so that he was resting against the back of it. He picked up the magazines with two fingers and shuffled through them, looking for something to capture his interest.

Home and Garden? No.

People…definitely not.

Science world…maybe, but science wasn't his thing. He sighed, wondering why there weren't any magazines that pertained to detectives-they were a part of society too, you know-and lay back, watching the last shreds of sunset drift through the window. He remembered he hadn't slept at all last night, or maybe even the night before that…being an insomniac doesn't make you immune to exhaustion. It just makes you physically unable to sleep.

The next thing he knew, it was pitch black other than the light of the coffee machine.

L's back ached, and he knew he must have fallen asleep, so he sat up and looked around. His eye caught sight of a digital clock-it was ten at night. He groaned, now it was much too late to see the boy who'd moved out of the room next to BB's-he'd probably be asleep by now.

Figuring he'd just have to come back tomorrow, L sighed, sitting up and stretching out.

There was a small click, and L looked towards the door.

It opened slowly, and a silhouette appeared in the door, unmoving. L froze.

His eyes caught a glint of silver.

A light chuckle came from the person at the door "Well, look who it is. It's Raito's new friend."

L frowned, slowly sliding off the couch "Raito?"

The boy entered the room, closing the door shut behind him, and as L's eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see the teen's bronze hair glinting in the pale light coming from the window-whether it was moonlight or just a streetlight, he couldn't tell.

"Ryuzaki…" Raito raised one hand, and in it he had clutched a steak knife. "Do you know what you do to Raito?"

"Raito-kun" said L softly, slowly maneuvering his way towards the door "Where did you get the knife?"

"My parents took me out to dinner. I knew the others were too chicken to take it. So I did. I hid it before Raito could find it. But you didn't answer my question. Do you know what you do to him?"

L shook his head, trying to map out a path around the teen. He stood on the other side of the couch, ready to move around if Raito ran at him in one direction. If Raito tried to come over the couch, then it would be easy for L to make it to the door.

"You hurt him, Ryuzaki-san. You hurt him, and that's not allowed." Raito's eyes suddenly bulged, and he hissed "only _I_ can hurt him!" anger twisted the teen's attractive face, and he gripped the knife, moving toward L.

L was ready for it, and he moved swiftly to the other side of the couch, ready to move in the opposite direction of wherever Raito did. Seeing this, Raito let out a shrill yell and jumped over the back of the couch, making a wild stabbing motion. L ducked and kicked out, missed, kicked again. He heard another yell and saw Raito fall to the ground, face screwed up in pain, and scrambled over to him.

Raito opened one eye and swung the knife again. L had been reaching out, and it caught his hand, leaving a gash, and he cried out in pain, clutching the hand to his chest where it stained the white of his shirt. He forced his eyes open, and looked to see Raito was trying to stand again, but the kick to the face had disoriented him slightly.

L jumped forward and grabbed the hand with the knife it, clutching the teen's wrist until he howled in pain and dropped it. L took the opportunity to kick the blade across the floor, where it wound up halfway under the couch and spun for a few moments before coming to a halt. L climbed on top of the teen and tried to hold him there, but Raito weighed more than he did, which certainly didn't help.

L's elbow was shoved into Raito's throat, and the teen hissed and grabbed at L's arm, trying to remove him.

"Why did you try to kill me?" L whispered, looking down at Raito sadly.

Raito struggled for a few seconds more before going limp "Because you shouldn't be around Raito. You hurt him."

"But…you are Raito…"

"No." Raito declared vehemently, looking directly into the older man's obsidian eyes.

"_I am Kira."_

-----

A/N: Gracious, what's going on?!

Sorry about the slow update, I've been unfairly busy this summer getting ready for the anime convention. My cosplay is so tricky X.x I might not be able to post for a while because I'll be going up to see Niagra Falls, and my laptop might get wet there XD and I'm also going to visit the relatives, OC to visit friends…you get the idea. But hopefully I will find a handy dandy notebook in which to write down my ideas so I won't be too behind!

Hopefully I'll be able to read my own handwriting X.x

Well, what are you waiting for? Review plz! I won't be able to improve if I don't get feedback.

Icemask12


	3. Invincible

A/N: Sorry for the ridiculously slow update, been very busy.

The beginning might be a little boring, sorry. I'm excited about the end though.

------

L lay in bed. He wasn't sleeping, no, not after something like that. Instead he had lain sideways in bed and moved so close to the wall that his feet were planted against it, and had stretched up and was tapping his foot against the wall.

Tap, tap, tap

"_It has to be multiple personality disorder or schizophrenia or something."_

Tap, tap, tap

"_I wonder why Kira said Raito was 'hurt'? That I hurt him…did I do something wrong?"_

Tap, tap, tap

"_I know I shouldn't go back…but I want to. I want to talk to the boy who was in the room next to BB's. Hopefully that will give me some insight as to-"_

"L, could you please stop tapping on the wall?" Watari poked his head through the door, wearing a deep red dressing gown and looking exhausted. The lines in his aged face were becoming more prominent with each close call they had, and L felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach as he realized his own little dangerous adventure today had affected the old man more then they both realized.

"I'm sorry, Watari. I will cease immediately. Will you need sleep medication?"

"No…it doesn't work half the time anyway, and I don't want to get dependent on a drug." Watari smiled weakly "All part of growing old, I suppose. The stress doesn't help either."

L also felt guilty because he considered the incident, despite it not being instigated by L, his own stupid, stupid fault.

If he hadn't talked to Raito so long…no, he hadn't even had to introduce himself, and he wouldn't have risked the wrath of Raito's psychotic alter-ego. If only he hadn't been so uncharacteristically _friendly. _

Huh. That was what L got for endangering himself and others by trying to make friends.

Then again, maybe a psychiatric hospital hadn't been the best place to troll for potential companions.

After 'Kira' had declared who he was, it hadn't taken L long to piece together the things he'd said and come to a reasonable conclusion: _'The others were too chicken to take it, so I took it.' _Kira couldn't have been talking about his own family-why the hell would they steal a knife from a restaurant?-so that implied that besides Kira, Raito had other personalities.

This excited L, and scared him-besides the obvious, the danger of the situation-it was that L wanted to go _back._ See him again, because Raito was shaping up to be a human jigsaw puzzle-another case to solve. He'd never taken a very personal interest in anyone involved with the cases-they were just individual pieces of the puzzle, things he had to put into place, add to the equation-or subtract from it.

Raito was an entire _puzzle._ But the fact that L wanted to go back to see his almost-killer scared him, if only ever so slightly.

Unavoidable, but true.

He'd definitely speak to the boy formerly in the room next to BB's tomorrow, and Raito, if he could. After the doctors had found Kira and restrained him, L had left without inquiring if he was allowed visitors.

Ah, well. He'd do it…tomorrow…

L drifted into a light, hazy sleep.

-------

Meanwhile, someone else was dreaming.

_He stood at the end of the hallway, near the reception desk, but the building was empty, and the hallways were very, very long, so long that they faded in the distance, into a gray mist._

_Raito sipped at his tea, but it was still cold, even after he'd put his chess pieces into it. The couch curled around him protectively, and while he appreciated the poor thing's efforts to keep him safe, it was getting a little uncomfortable. Too stuffy. _

_The lights seemed to shine gray, which accounted for the mist at the end of all the hallways. For some reason he could see them all, like the waiting room was the center of the universe. He dimly registered that wasn't right, but ignored the strange thought and continued to sip his tea. He frowned, dropped a white knight into it, and took another sip. Still cold. _

_Sighing in displeasure, Raito untangled himself from the wailing mess that was the couch, and went to talk to the manager. _

_A knife pricked the back of his neck._

_Raito froze, and tried to turn around, but it was like there was an invisible force stopping him, and his movements were jerky._

"_Raito-kun," whispered Kira, a doppelganger of himself "Raito-kun, it's been too long. I missed you."_

"_I didn't miss you."_

"_I was sad. I missed you."_

"_I didn't miss you."_

"_We're so much better together, wouldn't you agree?"_

"_I never missed you."_

"_It's Ryuzaki! He knows about us. Raito, please don't talk to him. He broke the glass." Kira begged, and the knife went a little deeper into Raito's neck, making him wince "He hurt you, broke the glass, and now we have to perform for free."_

"_I hate performing. He didn't mean to break the glass."_

"_But I did, Raito-kun."_

_Raito jerked his head away from Kira to see that Ryuzaki had settled his chin on Raito's left shoulder, and Kira had taken up residence on his right. _

"_Ryuzaki?"_

"_Raito-kun, I am more dangerous. You should listen to me."_

"_You don't look dangerous."_

"_I am more dangerous." repeated Ryuzaki, pulling a gun out of the overlarge pocket in his jeans. He put the gun to Raito's temple, and Kira's knife twitched in response, eliciting a small trail of blood._

"_Now you're both being silly. Put those away."_

"_No, Raito-kun."_

"_Not ever, Raito. It will always be here."_

_Raito felt hands running along his back and suppressed a shudder, because Kira and Ryuzaki could only spare two hands between them, and it felt like ten, twenty were touching him, feeling him-_

"_Stop that. You're scaring me."_

"_I'm sorry, Raito-kun. Perhaps I can alleviate that a little." _

_There was a loud bang and screaming, and Raito gasped as the floor came toward him with alarming speed, and he slammed into the black darkness-_

And yelped as he jerked upward, hitting his forehead against the lamp and falling back down onto the covers.

Raito had almost calmed down when he felt something cold on his right wrist. He yanked it closer to his face, and to his horror, there was a restrictive metal band that was attached by a chain to the side of his bed, and although it was an inanimate object, the handcuff spoke clearly: '_You've done something very wrong, and this is what you get for it.'_

He found the call button which had been left in his reach and pushed it frantically, because he had to know, _had to know_ what had happened, and tried to push away that awful thought; that he'd taken life without knowing it.

A tired, frazzled young nurse rushed into his room, running a hand through his bleached-blonde hair in exasperation "Raito! What's wrong?"

"H-Hatori!" gasped Ratio, forgetting the handcuff momentarily and trying to get out of the bed "what the hell did I-did he-do?"

"Oh," Hatori relaxed visibly "That's all. He didn't do much this time, thank God."

"Much? Any visible damage?" Raito gave a short, weak laugh.

"Well, yeah," admitted Hatori, running his fingers through his hair again "he kind of attacked someone."

Raito paled "Was anyone hurt?"

"Not really-oh, but the guy got a cut on his arm. Your 'friend' went at him with a knife."

"That's not good…" Raito muttered to himself, then louder, he asked "Is he pressing charges?"

"Nah. He was very nice about the whole thing. Very easygoing. Nice guy, that Ryuzaki…"

Raito felt the bottom drop out of his stomach "Ryuzaki? Did he slouch? Have crazy black hair?"

"Oh yeah, that's the guy. You know him?"

"No," whispered Raito miserably, sinking back down into the pillow "No, not really."

"Hey, well if you don't need anything, I gotta go, 'kay?"

"Bye then." muttered Raito, turning away. He heard the door shut and hugged his knees, burying his head into the circle formed by his arms. He'd felt, for the first time in a long while, genuinely happy yesterday-the promise of human companionship, even if very brief, appealed to him. He didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but he had grown lonely surrounded by the people he himself had alienated, as he was picky when it came to friends.

There were only so many times one could play chess with oneself and still consider it a novelty.

It wasn't even that he'd really connected with Ryuzaki-what was more important was what he _represented._ What if he someday found some person whose company he longed for, but because of what he was, couldn't have? Ryuzaki represented every potential for friendship and every failure that would inevitably befall Raito.

Raito didn't often mope or feel sorry for himself, but this time he felt it was justified, even though he'd been the cause of it.

He sat in the darkness a long time, feeling like his demons were slowly creeping up on him, ready to attack in the suffocating haze.

At the moment, he could have let them.

------

"Are you sure you want to do this, L? It's unnecessary. It's pointless."

"Watari, I understand your concern, but please be rest assured-I will be fine."

Watari and L waited outside the building where Raito lived, sitting in an unobtrusive black Mercedes, one of the six cars they alternated between to throw anyone who might be following them off the trail. Watari had been trying to keep L from stepping out of the car for the past five minutes, and was clearly disapproving of L's plan to go see the boy who'd formerly inhabited BB's room-and Raito, too.

"So really, Watari, I will be fine-"

"L, this isn't just concern. It's common sense. What you want to do is downright stupid. A psychotic teenager's second personality-"

"Raito isn't psychotic, what happened wasn't his fault." Interrupted L, frowning.

"-has decided you're no good for him, and now he wants to kill you. Going to see him again is the worst possible thing you can do." Watari plowed on as though he had not been interrupted.

"But I'm not going to see Raito, as of yet." L wheedled, giving Watari his patented puppy-dog eyes. "Please?"

"You don't have to ask my permission, I'm just saying it isn't a good idea-no! No! Don't you _dare_ give me that look young man; I know what you're trying to do!"

"Fine. Watari, I really do respect your concern, but I don't think my own methods are 'stupid'. I'll call you later, when I'm done." L stepped out of the car defiantly, slamming the door shut (although not out of anger, as the door was a little hard to close) and approaching the building. He paused, then turned to watch Watari pull away, and immediately felt guilty. The man only had his best interests in mind, and L had blatantly snubbed him. He'd have to apologize later.

Sighing and reverting to the emotionless state he'd spent many years honing to perfection, L continued to the door and entered the building, showing an ID that confirmed his name was "Hideki Ryuga" at the door. As he looked inside, he saw it was a lot busier than it had been yesterday-it was ten in the morning, so everyone was probably starting their day.

He didn't need to ask for the boy's room number, as he remembered it from yesterday (a small feat compared to his many accomplishments, but nonetheless something with only an incredible memory could have accomplished as he'd been told once, in an offhand sort of way).

L continued to room B68.

------

He made quick work of finding it, and after a furious argument with a doctor outside the door about what would be best for the patient, L told the woman that the doctor from yesterday had given him permission, and after another few minutes in which said doctor was contacted to confirm that he had indeed told L it would be okay to see the patient, L was allowed to enter.

His first impression of the room was that he'd mistakenly walked into a toy shop. Trains whistled and circled his feet ecstatically, and airplanes hung from the ceiling. An enormous castle made entirely of dice took up a corner of the room, and plastic robots were strewn across the bed. Hidden in another corner of the room was a dresser that was a carbon copy of Raito's, albeit having strings, wheels and gears scattered across it like it was ready to spring a booby trap.

The walls, he noticed were a light blue, but had dirt stains on them vaguely reminiscent to the shape of a lizard, as if somebody had taken one and thrown it against the wall repeatedly.

L was about to turn around and inform the doctors of the illegitimate toy market that appeared to have sprung up in their hospital without due notice, when he noticed a small pale hand reach up from behind the castle of dice, and then proceed to form a fist and smash down one of the walls.

The purpose of this, L realized, was to make a somewhat dramatic exit from the castle-of course; there was probably no alternative, as the boy had effectively barricaded himself within the dice fortress.

The boy in question looked no older than thirteen or fourteen, and examined L with wide, dark eyes that mirrored his own. He was wearing a white flannel pajama top and grayish blue pajama pants, and was clutching a blue plastic robot like he was ready to fend of attackers. He was obviously an albino-his hair was practically pure white, and L figured anything else except the white pajamas would have made him look washed out-not that L could talk. He was practically albino himself.

"So," said L, seeing the boy wasn't going try and initiate conversation "Did they tell you about me?"

The boy was silent for a moment, as if sizing L up, before replying with "They told me somebody wanted to ask me questions. Can I assume you are that person?"

L saw he was being cautious, and in an attempt to at least seem friendlier, he decided to introduce himself "I am, actually. My name is Ryuzaki. You?"

"You may refer to me as…Near." Near wound his pointer finger in a lock of white hair, gazing absently at L. "Here-why don't you sit down?" Near pulled a worn wooden chair out from under a pile of action figures, causing a small avalanche of heroes and villains alike.

Near gestured to the chair, then climbed onto his bed, letting his feet dangle over the edge while L got situated, wincing as he sat down on something sharp and unearthed a spear-wielding warrior out from underneath himself and handing it to Near.

"So Near…I'm sorry if this is sudden, but I'd like to get right to the point."

"I understand. Proceed." intoned Near without any visible hesitation.

"Why did you move out of your last room?"

The change was barely perceptible to someone who hadn't been taught body language, but L had, and he saw it. Near's hands clutched tighter at the robot he was holding, and his knuckles, although it seemed impossible, grew even paler from the death grip on the plastic toy. The boy stiffened, and his body language immediately became closed.

"Why is that important?"

"It's very important. The doctors told me you had night terrors."

Near smiled coldy "And did you believe them?"

There was a few moments pause. "No," said L "Not entirely. I wanted to hear from your own mouth. I want to know what you think."

"Because you believe that the doctors might not have believed me when I told them what I believed to be the truth."

L blinked "Yes."

Near sighed "I might not remember everything at first. I've been told that I was just having night terrors so long I almost believe it myself. But then I remember, and I think…" Near faltered.

L said nothing, merely waiting for Near to continue. Near, recognizing this sighed and went on. "What I used to think…I used to think there was somebody outside my room, watching. They passed it off as a nightmare…some of them even believed I was developing schizophrenia."

"Were you?"

"I haven't. At least, I haven't yet."

"So what exactly did you see?"

Near's face was a blank, even L could not easily discern any visible emotion. "This will sound stupid, but I saw…I thought I saw the boy who lived at the end of the hall. Thought I saw him standing outside my room, holding a knife. That's who you came to talk about, isn't it? You want to know more about him. I'll tell you more about him."

L smiled "You're very observant. But yes, that's who."

"He's pure evil."

L blinked in surprise "I think that might be exaggerating it a bit…"

"It's not. I swear I'm telling the truth, he came into my room one night and just stood there staring at me, stood there so long I thought he was a nightmare, but then he…" Near looked around as if someone might be watching them looking for the first time slightly panicky, and then sat the robot down on the bed. He continued in barely more a whisper. "They thought I was just hallucinating. But do hallucinations do this?" Near pulled up his pajama shirt, exposing his bare stomach to L.

Pink, faded cuts ran in jagged lines across his stomach, in no rhyme or rhythm that L could see, and had the look of being a few months old.

L's eyes widened "Does anyone know about these?"

"They think I did them myself. But I hear tell he attacked someone else, and that's why you're making inquiries, isn't it?"

L was quiet "But he tried to kill me…why not you?"

"Oh, so it was you. That was just a guess. Maybe because he thought he'd get caught. When he came in I yelled as loud as I could, and a few nurses came a few minutes later. I'm not sure when he left, it just hurt…"

"Maybe he was planning to kill you…just later." murmured L "maybe he wanted you to-" L stopped abruptly, noticing how Near was beginning to edge away from him slightly. L decided not to finish the thought: _"Maybe he wanted you to suffer first."_ Perish the thought. "Well, has he gone after you again?"

"No. I think it might have been just because I was in that room. But you know-" Near looked up at L suddenly, as if he'd just remembered something "-I always got the impression afterward that he'd gotten the wrong room, and knew it, because at first he just grinned…and then…I was hiding under the covers…" Near faltered, closing his eyes before continuing "…he pulled them off and then got mad, like I wasn't supposed to be there…"

"You can stop now, if you like." said L quickly, seeing Near's demeanor change. It was a nice gesture, but done more out of a worry that if Near panicked there'd be trouble than actual compassion. There had never been any need for it before, and L was determined not form emotions over such a trivial matter anyway.

"I apologize. But that is all there is to tell."

"Ah. There's no need to apologize. You've told me quite a lot already. If it means anything to you, they probably will believe you now that he's been caught in the act, so to speak."

Near considered. It would be nice to, certainly, but if he did…"No," Near finally decided "It's long gone, and I don't want to talk about it anymore…" he looked pointedly at L "Tell them if you wish, but I know these people. It's too much of a hassle, at least for _my_ doctors." Finished the albino sarcastically, implying that the treatment he got was substandard.

"If that's how you feel, then alright, and thank you again." said L quietly, extracting himself from the chair and landing on his feet with a wobble.

"It's fine. It's unpleasant to know you've taken an interest in something so potentially dangerous, but I am sure you will-" Near fiddled briefly with his robot "-stop soon anyway."

"Stop? Stop what? May I ask why?"

"Goodbye, Ryuzaki. It was nice meeting you."

----

L stood outside the door of room D25, running statistics through his head to gauge how welcome he would be.

"_If he's back to normal, there's a 95% chance he'll be embarrassed, but there's also a 23% chance he'll be too embarrassed to speak with me. In that case, assuming that if he isn't embarrassed he won't apologize, there's a 73% chance that he'll offer an apology…so the statistics are in my favor."_

L sighed, realizing just how much he used the word chance. It was all to chance, every time he took a risk it was a _chance. _Not just here, primarily in his everyday life, but here…while the odds were in his favor now, who knew what they'd be like later?

But then again, nothing was ever gained without taking a chance-at least in his knowledge it was not.

Although he wasn't quite sure what he was gaining from this, yet.

Except maybe a headache.

L, deciding there was nothing else for it, took a single step forward and knocked morosely on the door, then retracted the hand to rub his temple.

"Come in!" called a tired male voice from inside.

L pushed the door open, sticking his head inside and looking around with an air of entering the lair of a wild animal. The room was the same as it was yesterday, mint green walls, a bed in the corner, and a bookshelf and wardrobe on the opposite wall. There was even a small round wooden table, and two chairs.

Except this time, the chairs were unoccupied, and Raito was lying in the bed. Well, leaning against the headboard, to be more accurate. He had dark circles under his eyes, which had been drawn away from the book he held in his hands, and to where L stood. He lowered the book and let it close, placing it on his night table, and looked back to L.

"Ryuzaki…I…"

"No need, Raito-kun-"

"Ryuzaki, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen!" Raito scrambled upwards, looking pained. L didn't miss the glint of silver that encircled his wrist, but decided to take the high road and ignore it, instead pulling over a chair to sit next to his bed.

"I am sure you didn't. Most don't, I am told." L offered a wry smile "But I would like to know more."

Raito frowned "About what?"

"About you. Raito-kun, you have been exhibiting symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder since we met, and last night's incidents confirmed my suspicions about your lie. You don't develop PTSD and multiple personality disorder from hitting your head."

Raito returned the smile, albeit slightly forced "You're right about that, I suppose. I knew you were intelligent, but…more so than I gave you credit for, I see."

"Most people seem to make assumptions about my intellectual strength. I wonder why?" L turned his head to the side as if genuinely confused "But, back to the point, would you care to elaborate on the cause of your…disorder?" L finished lamely, unsure of how to make it more prudent.

"I owe you that much, I guess." Raito remarked tiredly, leaning back against his headboard and gazing upwards towards the ceiling. "You have to understand it's very hard for me to remember…I've tried to block it out, you see. I was assaulted."

L was suddenly reminded of his conversation with Near, except this time the attacker was the victim. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

"It was only one guy, but I was tired and alone…" Raito faltered, tapping his hand on his side "I remember getting a really violent hit on the head, and everything was kind of sluggish…I fell down a flight of steps. That's when I blacked out or, presumably when I developed my…friend." Raito sounded awkward when it came to trying to describe his other personality. "The next thing I knew I was sitting in a pool of blood, surrounded by broken glass."

"A pool of blood? Were you injured that badly?"

"It…wasn't my blood."

"I see." remarked L quietly, remembering Kira's violent tendancies.

"And every time I moved, I'd put my hand on it or something. I kept stabbing myself with the glass shards on accident." He gave a single, weak laugh. "If…if I was…abused, or anything…I really don't remember it…eventually I had enough sense to leave, and I went back to my hotel room and got in the shower for at least a good hour, hour and a half."

"And ever since then…"

"Yeah. I didn't actually realize what it actually was though until I came into school one day and I was somebody else. It was scary. I'd black out and not remember where I'd been, have clothes I never bought hanging in my closet…"

"I can understand how that would be frightening. To realize there's a part of yourself you don't even know, correct?"

"Exactly," said Raito, sounding relieved. "Exactly it. So that's my story. That's why I'm here."

L nodded, glancing at the clock. "I appreciate that you trusted me enough to tell me this."

"Actually I kind of told a lot of people. My parents, every new doctor who insisted they hear it from my lips, the police…" Raito trailed off.

"Ugh. I hate talking to large amounts of people in person."

Raito laughed at that "Somehow you do seem like the type of person who wouldn't be a good public speaker. No offense."

"None taken." said L simply.

"Well…thank you."

"Pardon?"

"Thank you for letting me tell you this. Wait, why am I thanking you? You asked…"

"I was wondering about that myself, Raito-kun…"

-----

"It will be dangerous. I don't think we can risk it."

"We have to. He's always been loose lipped."

"We'll send the same guy who went last time, if we need to. His work was of a very high standard."

"I remember him. He was expensive. Do we really have to pay this much?"

"Better than risking jail time or a death sentence."

"Fine. He'll be dead within the week."

----

He remembered being hit on the head, and vaguely recalled being dragged across a street by his neck, legs flailing, ruining the clean white dress shirt he'd gotten for his sixteenth birthday. Some part of him recalled being pulled through a doorway, then another when inside, and his memory picked up again with the remembered pain of falling down the stairs.

What he didn't remember was when he was in pain, and in so much pain, so much disbelief that something so terrible should be happening to himself that he distanced himself from it, made the pain happen to someone else.

Kira opened his eyes. It was dark, and he was scared, but he was angered too, and he overcame his fear and started trying to stand up, weak, but managing to neatly button his shirt as he pulled himself to his feet. He looked around. There was a water stained but stable looking wooden staircase a few feet ahead of him, and he appeared to be in more of a root cellar than an actual basement.

He knew the door was locked without having to try it, so Kira felt around in the darkness, looking for something to break it open with, before his fingers ran across the cool metal of a flashlight. He nearly knocked it to the floor in his excitement, but instead managed to catch it before it hit the unforgiving ground of cold hard cement, and he found the switch and flicked it on.

He shone the flashlight around, and saw the room was full of normal basement things, mainly water tanks and somebody's old crap. There were trophies from a long time ago brandishing tiny dusty baseball players on the top, a high school diploma on the far wall, and other odds and ends that one might shove out of the way but not want to trash.

Kira snorted in disdain, because whoever had kidnapped him must seriously be a loser.

He shone the flashlight in another loop around the room, and was about to resort to kicking the door down, when his eye caught something shiny, glinting. He pointed the flashlight directly at it and saw exactly the type of thing he had been looking for, a long metal baseball bat encased in a glass box hanging from the wall. An illegible scrawl, presumably a signature of someone affiliated with the major league, was turned to proudly face the door, so that it would be easily visible.

_Kira_ said the red brand name paint on that bat.

Kira strode over to the glass case and tapped on it a few times with the flashlight. At some point he paused, seeming to have found what he was looking for, and swung the flashlight directly into the glass. It shattered, tiny glass shards catching the light of the flashlight as they flew and making rainbows, and Kira felt a stinging pain on his cheek, followed by an annoying trickle.

The light of the flashlight flickered and went out. No matter. Kira already had what he needed anyway.

He reached inside, felt a sharp pain as his knuckle grazed a shard of glass still hanging diligently to the top, and, ignoring it, pushing through to the cool metal of the bat. He ran his hand lovingly down the side, getting cut by glass as he went, and felt the rubber of the handle. He gripped the handle with one hand, and tore the bat out of the case, causing a few last pieces of glass to shatter on impact.

He was ready. He gripped the bat with both hands and walked towards the staircase with a sense of purpose. He felt great, he felt _invincible, _like he could take on the world. The weakness from before was gone, and he was fighting now. Well, he would be.

He walked up the stairs, blindingly aware of every creak, every noise, and every drop of water that fell from the ceiling. Finally, after what seemed like careful ages, Kira reached the top. Gripping the bat firmly in both hands, he raised it above his head, and slammed it down.

It hit the wooden step with a clunk. He'd missed.

He raised the bat above his head again, and swung.

Clang! He'd hit the doorknob, and it bounced down a step before he stopped it with his foot. No unnecessary noise, thank you very much.

Kira tapped the door, and it opened easily. He stepped out quietly into a hallway, fairly small and scarcely furnished, and with two open doorways on either side. It was dark except for the streetlight outside the window of the left hand doorway.

But he went to the right hand doorway, because from it emanated the ghostly, flickering light of a television set.

Kira stood in the darkened doorway like a wraith, the bat bouncing gently against his hip, and surveyed the room.

It stunk, for one thing. Beer cans littered the floor, and on an end table next to the plaid green couch facing the television, away from the door, there was a cup of ramen skillfully perched on a stack of what looked like porn magazines.

But on the couch, silhouetted by the television now displaying a car ad and blissfully unaware of the being behind him, was a man leaning back and putting his feet up on a red ottoman that didn't match the color of the couch.

A smile alighted on the corner of Kira's mouth, and he gripped the bat firmly in both hands and raised it above his head, stepping forward silently.

------

A/N: I will be going away for a while so I might not be able to post for a few weeks DX I spent a lot of time trying to get this chapter right, it was very hard for some reason.

Review please! I hope you liked!

Icemask12


	4. Euphoria

A/N: Hey guys, I loved your reviews! Seriously! But first, a little note:

**WARNING:** This chapter has some blood and bit of gore in it, mixed with the blood…if you're faint hearted, skip the first part. But here's my reasoning as to why it's pretty much okay:

I'm barely a teen, therefore I cannot hold the mental capacity to write anything bad enough to be rated M-or at least I shouldn't.

If you're in High School or above, you can probably read this. I'm not, and I wrote it. Even if you're not in High School, it should still be fine. Hey, it's rated teen after all.

I know I said I'd be gone for a while, but as it turned out I had a two week respite before going away again, I'm using this time to write. In a few days I'll be off to visit the next batch of relatives!

It's also gonna be my birthday soon : )

Oh, and since you guys seem to want more of Raito beating up his attacker, here it is :P

-------

Kira took another step forward, then let out a yell and brought the bat down upon the man's head. Or what he thought was the man's head. It was actually a pillow sitting on the couch. The man himself had jumped off the couch and was standing near the television. His shoulders were too big for his feet, which were tiny, and he walked unevenly, sporting a mass of untidy black hair. His nose was drawn up like a pig's, and he had rather large, bulging eyes.

"What the hell? What are you-" he gasped and dodged as Kira swung the bat at him again, hitting the television screen and causing a few electric sparks before sending the room into darkness.

"That's an expensive TV!" said the man indignantly, backing towards the door. Kira let out an unintelligible growl.

"Fine! What do you want? Money? I can't give you money! I have none!" the man stumbled but caught himself on the doorframe, and continued through the hall into the kitchen. There was no door to lock so he grabbed a kitchen knife and held it out in front of him.

"I'm warning you!" he yelled as Kira approached him, smiling benevolently "I'm warning you, I'm armed!" He took a few steps back and ducked as Kira swung the bat, it hit a wood and glass cabinet on the wall and smashed the glass door to pieces, along with most of the glasses inside. Fragments of sharp glass were scattered across the floor and the man howled as he stepped on one with his bare foot. Kira, still in his sneakers, crunched across without any pain at all.

There was one window in the kitchen, and the only light came from the light of the streetlight outside, tinged blue by distance and the patter of rain. Kira swung the bat downwards and it hit the man's arm, causing him to drop the knife. He gasped and tripped, scrabbling backwards on his hands and feet, holding his arms above his head.

"This isn't funny!" he howled "Go away!"

Kira turned his head to the side inquisitively "What happened outside wasn't very funny either…what's your name?"

The man breathed in and out heavily, trying to deduce whether or not this was a trap.

"Well?" Kira smiled and tapped the bat against his thigh.

"Ryuk!" the man said quickly, his overlarge chest rising and falling heavily.

"Okay, Ryuk. We're going to play a little _game."_ The teen breathed the last word vehemently, his eyes glinting dangerously in the light outside the window, which he was standing in front of. It silhouetted his form, and made him look more demon-like that he could have accomplished as Raito.

"You're insane!"

Kira took another step forward, grinning good naturedly. "Maybe. But you're the crazy one. You're the one who was foolish enough to _hurt_ me." He demonstrated by smashing the bat into another cabinet, sending shards of glass flying.

"G-get away!" howled Ryuk, flipping over and crawling away on his hands and knees.

At this, Kira grew mad. "Don't you care crawl away from me, you-you- piece of shit!" he screamed in fury "You're just a-" words failed him, and Kira let out a guttural yell, smashing the bat down on the man's leg. There was the crack of breaking bone and Ryuk crumpled, howling in agony. He flipped back over onto his back like a turtle that has lost the sense to get into its shell.

Kira took the initiative and stood over him, raising the bat above his head. His eyes widened in fevered excitement.

"This is the end. This is what happens to people who hurt us."

Ryuk screamed at the same time Kira brought the bat down on his head. It hit the man's left eye, which was crushed underneath the blow and began leaking blood and fluid. Kira swung again, this time catching the man on the cheek and crushing his cheekbone, alone with the teeth on that side of his face.

Again and again he swung, less calculated and deliberate, this time wilder and wilder, frenzied beyond thought.

_Crunch!_

Ryuk's teeth began dropping out of his torn apart mouth. There was an awful squishing sound as Kira gave a scream of rage that mingled with Ryuk's and swung the bat again, crushing his other eye and causing the blinded man to scream even louder.

"Do you like how that feels? Do you like how it feels when people-_hurt you?" _Kira taunted, punctuating the last two words with another blow to the face.

Ryuk was beyond screaming now, but there was a gurgling sound in the man's throat that sounded horribly like blood. He couldn't see Kira, but he could hear him, and he turned his head to face the teen, and Kira narrowed his eyes, raising the bloody bat above his head one last time.

Ryuk tried to speak, tried to reconcile with the teen, but his face was crushed in and he could not even make a noise.

"Goodbye, Ryuk."

Kira brought the bat down with stunning accuracy onto Ryuk's throat, and the man's pain was over. Kira, breathing heavily, glanced at the bat hanging limp in his hand. It was covered in blood and god knows what else, the name _Kira_ no longer visible. He poked Ryuk with the bat a few times to make sure he was really dead.

There was a clang as the bat clattered to the ground and rolled across the floor, becoming even more smeared in various body fluids than it was before.

Kira felt…exhilarated. He'd done it. He really had. He'd hurt the person who'd hurt him. Hurt him so badly he'd never hurt anyone else again.

He glanced at Ryuk in disdain _"People like this really are worthless."_

He could do it. He could stop people-people like _this_-from hurting the innocent.

He'd done it already.

He could definitely do it again.

Kira snickered weakly, clenching his hands into fists, bringing them to his chest and hunching over, as if hugging himself in some strange way. The laughter came stronger as he realized what he'd accomplished, how he'd stopped the pain of others.

He was happy, no, he was euphoric, and he burst out laughing, looking upward at the ceiling, and laughed harder as he realized he must have hit Ryuk hard enough for some of his blood to spray up and spatter the ceiling above.

Kira spread his arms out to the ceiling as if a heavenly being would come and reward him for his deed, and he laughed so hard he had to take a few steps backward and clutch his stomach in order to keep from falling over, and for a few seconds he threw his head up in the air and reveled at his own mirth, his laughter becoming shriller as his voice began to give out.

Kira took a few more steps backwards and hit a wall, sliding down it slowly, still laughing, and landing in a sitting position, his laughter fading into weakened giggles. All that physical exertion had really done a number on him. He was going to need to get more in shape if this was going to become a full-time deal.

"Ha ha…ah…" Kira smiled and relaxed as his laughter faded, his eyes traveling across the bloodstains that trailed up the wall and were sprinkled onto the ceiling. There was certainly a lot of blood, more than he thought there'd be, like he'd killed five people instead of just one. Could one person really bleed enough to cover most of the small kitchen floor in a red sheen?

Apparently so, he mused as he stuck his finger in some and licked it. It was warm. Yummy.

Kira was about to haul himself up, to find some more pain to eradicate, when suddenly he felt his eyes lose focus. It felt like he was losing consciousness, sinking into himself, and he began to panic. He reached up against the wall to find something, _anything_ to hold on to, and-

Raito opened his eyes.

No. He was hallucinating. He closed his eyes again. Opened them.

No!

_No!_

It was a lie. It had to be a lie. He couldn't speak.

"_It's a lie. It's not real, not real, not real. It's a lie. Lying to me."_

"Stop!" gasped Raito to no one in particular "Stop it! Stop lying!"

Nothing changed, except Ryuk slumped over. Raito grabbed at his shirt, the clean white cotton was drenched in ominous red liquid, but he hadn't done a thing. He'd done nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing!

Somebody else. That was it. Somebody else had come into the house while he was unconscious and killed the man before him, without bothering to dispose of the body. That was it. That had to be it.

He hurt, he hurt, he hurt so much. It was just a dream, Raito breathed and slumped over.

The grimy tile floor was rising up to greet him-

-He was on fire-

-Tried to get up-

-Snakes biting-

-Throat hurting-

-Eyes burning, red liquid stinging him-

-Shards of ice in his chest, attacking his innards-

-Couldn't see-

-Couldn't breathe-

Night was pitch black.

-----

They talked for over an hour. The topic of the conversation varied from trivial things like when the next rains would come, to more important things like-trust, for instance.

"The human mind is a funny thing. I know I'm not trustworthy. It's not my fault, and I know people shouldn't trust me for their own safety, but still-I feel annoyed when they don't. Weird, huh?" Raito raised his eyebrows.

"Not really, no. We want people to trust us, even if we know we're going to let them down-sometimes, _especially_ if we know we're going to let them down. That trust gives you sort of a power over the other person, doesn't it? Trust is a dangerous thing."

"You're pleasant."

"I'm truthful."

"Still, you could have a better outlook on life." Raito looked more relaxed, now, like he was gently poking fun of L.

"What is there to give me a 'better outlook on life'? Most of the human race is stupid, and their idiocy reaches farther than my tolerance allows. In truth, you're one of the few people who have heard me talk this much. Even now, I feel like I'm blabbering."

"I don't think that's fair. You just look at all the bad people."

"You look at all the good ones and don't get an accurate impression of the world." L stood in the chair to stretch his legs and hopped off awkwardly, shuffling over to the window. It had started to rain, and the world outside was tinted in wet gray. The reflection of the rain running down the glass pane shone on Raito's opposite wall, above the bed where he now lay against the headboard, and all light came from the outside now. Whitish-gray, rather than the artificial yellow of the teen's lamp.

"If my father heard you say that, he would call you a pessimist."

"It's often said that life is better for pessimists-speaking of which, why has your family not come to see you?" L glanced back at Raito, who suddenly looked embarrassed.

"Stuff like this just happens sometimes," muttered Raito, looking at his knees "My family is really busy…my sister's got dance lessons and stuff, and my dad works a lot. My mom called, but she couldn't talk long." He laughed quietly "Sometimes I get the impression that they'd prefer it if I didn't exist…"

L frowned, and couldn't help but feel that Raito was perhaps being a bit melodramatic. "I'm sure they don't think that."

"Sure. But now my dad doesn't even like to talk to me-I had such prospects, you know…my sister is okay, but she's young, and she has friends to be with, parties to go to. I think at some point she'll forget me altogether. My mom…a mother's love is blind; I'm still perfect in her eyes. Kind of. When she thinks I'm not looking, she gives me this apologetic look."

Now L was sure Raito was being melodramatic, and told him so.

Raito sneered "Well, it's not like you'd know, right? Did your parents ever look at you like you were insane?"

L smiled thinly. "Raito-kun, I honestly can't remember. I was raised in an orphanage for most of my childhood. Since I was seven."

Raito was silent. "I'm so sorry…"

"Why are people always apologizing for things that aren't their fault?" murmured L.

There was silence in the room for a few moments, and rain pattered quietly against the glass pane of the window. Crisscrossing strips of metal wire lay inside the thick glass, and they showed up in the silhouette on the wall like prison bars, slanted and elongated.

"I…I guess it's because we want to do something, even though we can't…I feel like an idiot now. My parents are annoying. Yours are dead."

"I don't know that, actually."

Raito looked at L, waiting for him to explain.

"My mother committed suicide when I was five. When I left for the orphanage, my father was still alive, but very depressed. I felt no need to contact him further; I had formed no emotional bonds. For all I know he could still be alive, looking for me…but he probably won't find me. Most of my childhood records-" L cut himself off abruptly, realizing he'd been dangerously close to revealing something that could lead to his identity. When had he become so careless?

"I'm sorry," mumbled Raito again.

L decided to change the subject. He thought for a moment. Did Raito deserve to know about his visit to Near?

It couldn't hurt to ask a few questions.

"So do you know Near?" L broke the silence abruptly, realizing too late that Raito would probably guess he'd gone to visit or at least investigated on his own. It probably would have been more prudent to ask him questions about the other patients first, and then mention Near on a side-note. But well, L had always been blunt.

Raito stiffened at the question but didn't turn around. "Why do you ask?" he didn't ask about the sudden change in subject, sensing that it was a personal thing.

"_He definitely knows something."_ L tapped a finger on the glass morosely "He seems interesting."

"I kind of know him. He's scared of me." Raito gave L a scrutinizing look "Did you go to see him?"

Bingo. Right on target. It wasn't like L had expected any less. "Of course."

"And you got his story?"

"Why else would I go?"

"It's rude to answer a question with a question."

"You should know me enough by now to know that I have no inhibitions about rudeness, Raito-kun. But you have to understand-you interest me, and I wanted to find out more. I told you I would. Would you rather I'd looked in your records?"

Raito sighed and looked at L exasperatedly "Aren't you ever satisfied?"

L raised a thumb to his lip thoughtfully. "No." he decided.

"And Near?"

"Like you said, he's scared of you. Thinks you're evil."

"If anything did happen, it was Kira, not me. He might have been hallucinating anyway." grumbled Raito.

"I suppose." remarked L easily. "A funny kid, isn't he?"

"You can say that again. Walking into his room is like going into a toy shop."

"My thoughts exactly, Raito-kun. Great minds think alike. But, while I was there, I did wonder why it looked like he had used a reptile as a bouncy toy. There are stains on his wall that look suspiciously like a lizard. It's quite bemusing."

"Oh. That. Yeah, I remember that. But that wasn't Near." said Raito casually, looking more relaxed now that the conversation had moved away from potentially dangerous areas.

"So somebody else ran in and smacked a lizard repeatedly against Near's wall?"

"It was a rubber lizard. No real lizard could survive that. But yeah, that actually did happen."

"Who was it?"

"Some kid named Mello. I don't really know him all that well, but I know he's got serious anger issues."

"So…Mello-" L stumbled briefly over the strange name "-got mad at Near, went inside his room and smacked a rubber lizard against the wall so hard it left stains?"

"That's the story. Oh, and he trashed Near's room too. Stuff was pouring out into the halls. Mello-that isn't his real name, he doesn't like his real name for some reason-it's some German name-well, Mello will randomly choose people he doesn't like. I wouldn't like to be on his bad side-"

There was a knock on the door. Raito glanced at L apologetically and called "Come in!"

The door opened and a tall, dark haired man in a white coat strode in. A clipboard was positioned under his arm and he had spiky black hair similar to L's, but this man had obviously made more of an attempt with his and had smoothed it down somewhat so it fell just around the tops of his shoulders. He had square, thick rimmed glasses that he fiddled with as he stepped into the room.

"Why is it so dark in here?" The man reached across the doorway and flicked on a light. "Oh, hello Raito. And who's this?" the man suddenly stopped fiddling with his glasses and smacked himself on the forehead "I'm sorry, how rude of me! Mikami Teru, at your service. I'm the one responsible for Raito's treatment." Teru smiled and offered a hand to L.

L looked at it for a few seconds as if deciding what would be the best way to go about the motion of taking Teru's hand, then grasped it awkwardly and quickly released it, as if the doctor was diseased. Teru did not seem to notice this minor social faux pas.

"You can call me Ryuzaki…"

"Oh! Yes, I remember you. That's a nickname though, right? Your real name is Hideki Ryuga?"

L nodded, not bothering to try to smile. Pointless, anyway.

Teru laughed, seemingly oblivious. "It's nice that you still enjoy Raito's company after the, er, incident."

Raito stiffened at the mention of it, and Teru, seeming to realize he'd made both his patient and his guest uncomfortable, quickly steered the conversation away from-_it_.

"So, I was just checking up on you, sorry if I interrupted anything. How're you doing?"

"Fine, thanks," Raito smiled tersely "but, I kind of have to use the restroom. Could you..?" He held up his arm and waved it, making sure that the handcuff that encircled his wrist clearly visible.

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot. Sure, hang on." Teru walked over to the door, opened it, and flung his head out into the hallway. "Nurse Amane!"

There was an answering call.

"Could you bring Raito's key?"

"Uh-huh! Hey, hang on!" a shrill female voice answered a few moments later. There were sounds of a heated argument in the hall, and two people burst through the door at once. One of them, nurse Hatori, was breathing heavily. "Hey! Is Misa-chan allowed to have the key?"

"Arayoshi-kun is being a jerk!" the younger, blonde female nurse stuck her tongue out at Hatori and crossed her arms, pouting.

"That's not fair!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is-"

"Hatori-san, Amane-san is indeed allowed to have the key." interrupted Teru exasperatedly.

Hatori nodded cautiously. "Okay. I just wasn't sure." He walked over to Raito, swinging the key around one finger. "How're you doing?"

"Fine thanks. Just wonderful."

"Hey now, don't get angry at me." frowned Hatori as he unlocked the handcuff and it swung to the ground. "I'm taking you to the bathroom, okay?"

"Sure. Nice seeing you, Misa, Teru. Glad you came back, Ryuzaki." Raito sounded drained now, emotionless. He rubbed his wrist where the handcuff had been, then sat up to accompany Arayoshi. "See you guys later." He remarked despondently as he left the room.

It was silent for a bit after the door closed. Misa hugged her clipboard to her chest and rocked back and forth on her feet.

"Is he going to be okay, Teru-san?"

Teru sighed. "I really hope so. I think what happened with Ryuzaki-san shook him up."

"He knows I don't blame him. Or he should."

"To him, I don't think it matters. He feels guilty. He's tried to disassociate himself from that guilt before, and it just made his condition worse."

"You mean he…"

"Yeah. A whole new personality came out of it. But we don't need to talk about that now." Teru smiled and waved one hand dismissively. "Most of the time it's better than having to deal with Mihael."

"Who?"

"One of doctor Takada's patients. I help with him sometimes. He's pretty young, but he has anger management issues. What makes him dangerous-for lack of a better word-is that sometimes he can control his anger enough to let something go for a while and then strike back with a well-planned, premeditated attack. Dealing with that sort of thing is worse than dealing with someone who just can't control their temper."

Something clicked in L's mind. Hadn't Raito mentioned this? "Does he call himself Mello?"

"Yeah!" Misa chimed in. "I think it's kind of cute, but then he called me an airhead when I told him so." The girl drew her attractive face into a pout. "Wasn't that so mean?"

"Very much so, Amane-san. Teru-san, do you know why he got so angry at Near?"

"Oh! So you know about that, do you? I guess Raito told you, then?" Teru frowned and adjusted his thick-rimmed glasses again. "Yes, that was troubling. We're not quite sure, he just takes certain likes and dislikes to people. From what I could gather, Near said something that Mello found insulting to Mello's visiting friend. The friend took the remark well, but Mello…" Teru sighed "An incident involving that same friend was what got him in here in the first place."

"Somebody else. Somebody made a pass at that same friend, and insulted said friend when he turned him down, and Mello just…lost it."

"What did he do?"

"Grabbed the guy's head and hit it against the wall a few times. Until it was bleeding, and then he just walked away."

Misa sucked in her breath quickly. "I never heard _that!_ So he just walked away? Just like that? After slamming somebody's head into a wall?" Misa hugged her clipboard tighter to her chest and wiggled in glee, the excitement of the new gossip apparently overruling the fact that one of the people she was treated had smashed someone's head into a wall hard enough to make it bleed. "Oh! Oh! Can I tell Arayoshi-kun? I bet he'd be excited to know too!"

"Er…sure, Misa-san. But make sure it doesn't take too long? Your shift hasn't ended yet, after all." A smile ghosted over Teru's lips as the girl nodded vigorously and walked out of the room with her head held high, gripping her clipboard tightly and probably resisting the urge to break into a sprint.

"Don't worry!" she turned around to called back, still walking backwards. "I'll see what's taking them so long, too! Raito is _such_ a slowpoke…" she stumbled as she walked backwards, but quickly regained her composure and faced forward, walking stiff and upright.

Teru smiled again and shook his head. "That Misa. So energetic. I know she seems a little airheaded, but she's just very excitable. Although I'm sure you noticed that?"

"…Sure. Doctor Teru-"

L was interrupted by a faint shriek. Teru looked towards the door, alarmed, then rushed forward and threw it open, dashing out into the hall with L following close behind, still with his hands in his pockets.

"Who was that?" asked Teru, moving out farther into the hall and looking-no, spinning around like a top. "Did someone scream?"

His question was answered as there was another shriek, louder this time, and people turned to look. Misa dashed down the hall, tripping every few feet. Tears streamed down her face, carrying mascara with it. She ran forward and collided with Mikami, crashing into his chest and sobbing into it.

"Teru! I-I-I-" she wailed again and threw her arms around Teru's neck. Mikami raised a hand and put it on her shoulder, trying gently but firmly to release the death grip she had on him.

"Misa, what's wrong?"

"It's-ah-ah!" Misa let out a high pitched wail of grief, as if words alone couldn't express her feelings.

"Misa?"

"Dead!" she gasped "Murderer! Dead, dead, dead! He- He-He's dead, Teru." Her voice suddenly grew quiet, wavering uncertainly.

Teru froze and glanced at L, studying his face as if the answer lay within it. L stared back, then cautiously moved forward and approached Misa. The detective reached out to pat her on the shoulder, pausing before he lowered his hand to her shoulder, as if approaching a wild animal. Misa sobbed harder and clutched at Teru's shirt.

Teru slid each of his hands under Misa's and gently but firmly pried them off his now wet black sweater.

"Misa, you need to tell us what happened. Take me to what you saw."

Misa stood stock still for a moment, before her eyes widened, like a thought had occurred to her, and she nodded quickly and cleared her throat, quickly turning around and walking down the hall, as if trying to save face. After a moment's hesitation, Teru followed, then L.

L watched Misa. It looked like she was trying to regain her composure, but she was failing miserably at it. She walked stiffly and silently, and her breathing was heavy. " _And somebody is dead, maybe. Or maybe she just panicked." _He wouldn't put it past her. Teru seemed nervous too, and L himself, although he'd disguised it well, was rigid with anticipation.

A slight, ever so slight (he had seen lots of murder scenes, albeit not moments after they were found) fear was mixed with that anticipation, but it was anticipation nonetheless.

L followed silently, no emotion showing on his face.

-----

After the first few feet Misa had stopped walking quickly and started running, and the other two were forced to catch up with her. The bathroom wasn't too far, and Misa reached out for the handle before her finger twitched, and she turned and looked at Mikami.

Teru moved past her, roughly throwing open the door. Misa stood to the back, and L soundlessly slipped past her, appearing a little way behind Teru. But when Teru stopped dead, L moved in front of him.

The average human body contains approximately 5.6 liters of blood. It was amazing how much that blood can spread in a short time.

It's also amazing how a puncture wound a single place in the body can produce so much of that blood that it looks like a massacre took place.

L took the scene in. The tile floor, which must have once been white, was now covered in a fine sheen of sickly red. A misty spray was on the white tiles walls, some was even on the stall doors and sinks. The showers in the back lay untouched, other than a fine trail of blood that was weaving it's way haphazardly across the room. A figure lay sprawled face down across the floor, and another stood off to the side.

L looked at the man on the floor.

Who happened to be none other than Arayoshi Hatori. L surveyed the body. Hatori had obviously been stabbed in the stomach and fallen forwards.

L looked to the figure on the opposite side of the room, who was holding a knife in his shaking hand.

Ratio's face seemed almost as bloodless as Hatori's. His hair was plastered to his brow, and his face had the sheen of perspiration. His eyes flickered back and forth erratically, from the knife to the body, knife to the body.

_Knife, meet body._

He didn't seem to have yet noticed the presence of other people in the room. Only the blood that ran down one arm and dripped off his fingers, splashing soundlessly against the tile floor in tiny red explosions of ecstasy.

_Ha!_

_Ha!_

_Ha!_

"What's going-" the door opened and a young, female doctor with short dark hair stepped in. Her mouth opened in a tiny 'o' of surprise, and her clipboard, clattered to the floor.

As the sudden sound reverberated around the room, Raito's head snapped up and seemed to see, for the first time, his horrified audience. He glanced at the knife and his breath hitched, as if seeing it for the first time. The knife, a thin, effective one ideal for killing quickly and silently (L had seen similar knives used in an assassination in Berlin) slid out of Raito's trembling fingertips, and he took a few steps backwards, hitting the wall and sliding down it, still in shock.

The teen glanced at his right hand, the one that had held the knife, the one that blood trickled down incessantly. It was twitching, tiny spasms erupting in each individual nerve, although he'd lost control over it, and Raito looked terrified, like it would soon develop a consciousness of his own and strangle him.

"R-Raito…" Teru's voice came out in barely more than a whisper, but every word was clearly heard. "This…I don't know…this is out of my hands."

"I didn't do it."

"Doctor Takada, could you please get security?"

Takada nodded dumbly, still in shock, and quickly left the room. Her papers lay scattered across the floor, slowly curling under the weight of the wet liquid as blood seeped into them.

"Raito-kun…" L took a few steps forward and knelt beside Raito. Raito hugged his knees, murmuring something incomprehensible.

"Rai-"

"You believe me, don't you Ryuzaki?" Raito looked at him, desperation showing in his brown eyes. "You believe I didn't-I couldn't-I didn't do it?"

"Raito," said teen looked surprised that L dropped the honorific.

"You believe me?"

"Raito, I'm just not sure what to believe anymore."

-------

Near frowned. So many people yelling and screaming and running about the corridors like dolts! Couldn't they be a little more considerate? His doctor had told him it was nothing to worry about, so Near did not worry. But the noise annoyed him; he'd nearly knocked over a tower of blocks that balanced precariously on his chair when a particularly loud shriek had interrupted his reverie.

"Hooligans," he muttered mutinously to his robots.

"Who're you calling a hooligan, snowflake?"

Near didn't turn around. "Mello. You didn't knock. Is 'snowflake' a new term of endearment?"

Mello grinned; he strode into the rooms with his arms crossed. "So, snowflake, you hear the news?"

Near turned around and frowned, and Mello grinned even wider as he realized he possessed a piece of information Near didn't.

Why not dangle it over smarmy boy's head for a while?"

"Oh, it was a terrible thing!" Mello put a hand across his forehead in mock dismay.

"I assume that sooner or later you'll tell me what you're talking about."

"What if I don't?"

"Your megalomania won't let you escape the chance to one-up me."

Mello scowled, Near had hit pretty much on the mark. Not that Mello had megalomania, no, Mello was just fine, it was Near's problem. But he had wanted to tell Near…so…"Well, fine. Maybe if you say please."

It was Near's turn to scowl. "If it will satiate you and shut your annoyingly large head, then _please._"

Mello, too exuberant to care about these last few remarks, crossed his arms and shrugged casually. "Well, I hear there's been a massacre in the bathroom."

"A massacre?"

"Yeah, like, ten people died."

"If ten people had died I think we'd be in lockdown right now."

"We are."

"I still think you're exaggerating."

"Well, fine, maybe like five."

"I'll just ask Doctor White when he gets back."

"What? He's not here yet?"

"Haven't seen him all day. Now, Mello, if you could kindly-" Near was interrupted as a car made of Lego's shot by his ear and smashed into pieces on the wall behind him.

"Yeah, yeah, I was leaving anyway." muttered Mello, making sure to slam the door behind him as he left.

Near sighed and tried to reconstruct the Lego car, trying to shake away the premonition rising inside him.

He'd make sure to lock his door tonight.

-----

Did you like it? That was the first murder scene I ever wrote! And that second one was the first crime scene I ever wrote! Next chapter might include Mello and BB more. I'm not really sure yet.

So for now, that's that. :D I'd like to thank **paradisemomiji **and **KimikoRinSohmaHyuuga** for their excellent work as betas, and Kimiko-chan always seems to pick up on the silly mistakes my grammar-blind self leaves :P oh, and I also feel like I need to give credit where credit is due. Last chapter somebody I didn't know had a fanfiction account beta-d for me, so I didn't list her name. Then she informed me she did, so I'd like to thank **Hpontopoftheworld** for beta-ing chapter three.

Thank you guys! Without you, there would be no story! (Well, there would just a really error-ridden one, which is almost as bad as none at all)

So, what're you waiting for? Like it, hate it? Review! I read every single one, and I've fallen in love with all of you beautiful people. Not in a creepy way though. Hopefully.


	5. Child

A/N: GUESS WHAT! I'M NOT DEAD! Miss me?

I'm soooo sorry for the incredibly long delay )= I've been busy, plus High School is GIANGANTOR and it's scary! I've also had some issues and a lot of emotional baggage to work through, which, honest-to-god isn't the greatest thing to help you write.

On a side note, I had my birthday on August 5th, I've decided my goal for this fic is to reach 100. I'm pretty much halfway there now, but it's still a lot for meeee! But there are forty-something of you subscribed to this, we can do it!

If it sounds like I'm whoring for reviews, I'm sorry…I meant to be more subtle =/ XD but remember, constructive crit if you can, but I'm happy with pretty much anything. Except flames, cos fire is scary and burny D=

I'm going to just apologize in advance because the next chapter will probably be late also. NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is in November, people, and I still haven't decided how I want my novel to end!

Oh, and special thanks to **Donatellolover** for encouraging and motivating me, and **Shinku Anrui** for being my fanfic drill seargent and wupping my butt into gear! Without these two (and all my lovely reviewers) this chapter wouldn't have even been here this fast! (Well, slow)

Enjoy!

------------

"I told you so."

"I never said it wasn't true, I just said you might be exaggerating."

"Yeah, well, I told you so in the first place." said Mello frustratedly.

"Whatever." said Near apathetically "It doesn't really concern us, anyway. Especially not you, Matt."

Matt raised an eyebrow "Somebody got murdered in the place you live and it doesn't concern you? If it concerns you guys, it concerns me."

"Hey! Since when have you cared about Near?" asked Mello angrily.

"Maybe if you'd stop looking through that stupid haze of anger once in a while, you'd see things clearly for a change." Matt snapped back. Mello clenched a fist and counted backwards in his head, but Matt's outburst had been too startling to really anger him.

It surprised all three of them; usually he didn't snap like that, the murder of Hatori had clearly unnerved him. They were walking down the hall after a successful reconnaissance mission to Raito's room to gather information, and reflecting on what had been said. It sure as hell hadn't been easy though; there had been a guard outside the room.

Luckily he'd been stupid.

"Matt, I have been meaning to ask, how did you manage to make it inside? We are on lockdown, as of two days ago."

"Oh," said Matt airily, answering Near's question "You know that guard outside that guy's room?"

"Raito's room, yes, what about him?"

"He's the same one they had guarding the entrance. I put on the bambi eyes and told him I'd left my ID inside, but that I wanted to see my older brother."

"…And?"

"He took it, hook line and sinker. Seemed to think it was cute, I guess."

"Matt, did I ever tell you you're a genius?" asked Mello in admiration.

"No, but you could stand to compliment me more." Matt grinned sheepishly and latched his fingers together behind his head, as if lying down.

"Well, you're a genius."

"Ah, thank you. But it was Near who got the guard to spill all."

Near allowed the ghost of a smile to pass across his face. "I see you give credit where credit is due. Mello, did you do anything at all?"

"Yeah, I-I did as a matter of fact!" said Mello defensively.

"Oh?"

"Yeah! I totally distracted that creepy guy while you talked to the guards!"

"Creepy guy?"

"The pale one in the blue jeans who looked like he'd spent the majority of his waking life in a garbage bin."

"He seemed clean enough-"

"Not the point. I distracted him, because he was pacing outside of the door for like fifteen minutes and he kept looking at you guys like he wanted to talk to you, so I distracted him, therefore I did something important. Happy now?"

"Not particularly."

"…"

------

Watari was mad at him. Hell, Watari was furious at him. And if Watari had had his way, L would be quietly solving meaningless (or at least, meaningless to L) cases in the sanctity of his ramshackle apartment. L would _not_ have returned to Namikawa hospital, would not have ever talked to Raito again, and would certainly not have been pacing outside his room for the past fifteen minutes.

But since when had L ever listened to reason, when something that finally captured his interest was here?

He glanced upward as the door opened with a click and Mikami slid out, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He met L's scrutinizing eye for a second before silently shaking his head.

"Still no change." said L monotonously. It wasn't a question, merely a statement.

"He's still not back yet. I'm sorry." Teru looked apologetic. "You have to understand, it was a very traumatizing ordeal for him. He wants to push himself further away I guess, and this is the way to do it. The only way to further remove himself from reality." Teru let his eyes scan the hall, and sighed "But he will come back eventually, don't worry. He always does in the end. He has to face it eventually, I guess."

L nodded, taking this in and processing it.

"Well, I should check on-"

"Doctor Mikami." L interrupted without thinking.

"Yes?" Teru chose to take the higher road and ignore this.

"Can I see him?"

The doctor frowned, pushing his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose from where they'd slid down moments before. "I don't think you understand. _He's not there._"

"I know. Raito isn't there. However, somebody else is. I'd like to speak to them."

Teru blinked. "Well…I guess it couldn't hurt…if you...insist, that is." He gave L a sideways glance, and L nodded to show that yes, he did insist. Teru turned back, looking awkward, and the guard stepped back to let him in, smiling. "Forget something, Doctor Teru?"

"No, Matsuda-san, but this gentleman would like to see the patient."

"Huh? Why? Oh, are you a relative?" Matsuda looked him over, obviously trying to find a similarity in appearance. He seemed to be failing.

"No, just a friend of the family," L lied smoothly "I was worried, you see."

"Oh, yeah! Okay, if Doctor Teru says its fine-" the guard looked pointedly at Mikami, who nodded "- then it's fine." Matsuda hummed as he reached for the door, quickly unlocking it and then pulling back, fumbling only briefly with the keycard before sliding back into his pocket.

Mikami held the door open for L, who did not hesitate before sliding into the room.

It looked basically the same as before, although there was a slight air of melancholy hanging over the room. Raito sat on the bed, face hidden behind the crumbling green cover of a large book, the metal chain that connected his wrist to the bed clinking ever so slightly as he turned the page. He seemed to take no notice of L, or Mikami, who was listening to Matsuda lock the door behind him.

Teru cleared this throat loudly. Raito looked up briefly, saw L and the doctor, but instead of greeting them, let his eyes slide back down to the pages of the book. L turned his head sideways and saw the spine of the book, the faded ink--letters, L was surprised to see, not kanji--spelled out _"North American Reptiles and Amphibians."_

Teru cleared his throat again, and spoke in a polite tone. "Whom do we have the pleasure of speaking to today?" he asked as if he was visiting someone's home.

There was silence for a moment, before: "Today, you have the pleasure of speaking to Tsuki."

Raito—or, rather, Tsuki—lowered the book and looked at the two men standing before him. His eyes wandered briefly over Teru, then, recognizing him, moved on to L. He frowned. "I don't know you. Who are you?"

"I-"

"Who is he?" Tsuki turned to Teru, frowning, as if he didn't expect L to give him a satisfactory answer. Teru made a _'tsk'_ noise with his tongue. "Now now, it's really very rude to talk about someone as if they aren't here. Anything to say, Tsuki?"

Tsuki looked downward. "I didn't think about that. Sorry. What's your name, again?"

"I never told you my name to begin with."

"Well, you can do it now! Better late than ever, I always say." Tsuki beamed at his logic. "I already introduced myself. It's your turn." Tsuki clapped a hand to his chest dramatically and laughed, then flipped it outward as if inviting L to speak.

L tried not to twitch at the impertinence of the act. "You can call me Ryuzaki."

"What? No last name? That sounds like a fake name!"

"Tsuki-kun!" Teru looked at him sternly.

Tsuki seemed to falter. "But it does…"

"We don't tell people that."

"Sorry." muttered Tsuki. He was silent for a moment, than brightened up in realization. "Hey! Yeah! They told me about you! I _know_ you! Ryuzaki, I remember that name, I know you!" he smiled beatifically. "You know me, well, kind of, from a few days ago, and you're so worried about me because I…he…I…" Tsuki trailed off, remembering suddenly.

"Oh…I…I'm sorry…"

Teru glanced at L out of the corner of his eye, just to see the man's reaction. L's eyes had widened slightly, but otherwise there was no noticeable change in his facial expression.

"Mikami-san…would you mind if I talked to Rai-er, Tsuki-kun…alone, for a bit?"

Teru raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Are you sure that's advisable?"

Raito's room was not built for security—it was expected that the person living within in was sane enough to be left alone with somebody if the door was locked. If Teru left, it could be an unnecessary risk.

"Matsuda-san is right outside the door, Mikami-san. I'm sure he's quite adept at what he does."  
Teru looked like he doubted this, but seemed to decide that if L wanted to be in a room with a possible murderer, well, that was his decision.

After stating the proper procedures of what to do if there _was_ an emergency, Mikami surveyed L and Tsuki carefully. "I'll leave you two alone, then. And Tsuki-" Teru turned and looked sharply at Tsuki. "Behave."

"Oh, yes. Okay. I will."

Teru nodded "I'm expecting you to."

There was a small click as the door shut and locked, and they were left alone.

Tsuki was the one to break the silence, by quickly reaching over the side of his bed and opening a drawer in his night table. L watched with interest as the younger boy continued to rustle around in the drawer before finally pulling out a battered old notebook, and settling it on his knees.

"Can I draw you?"

L blinked. "What?"

"Can I draw you? I like to draw new people when I meet them. I like to draw my first impression."

L frowned inwardly. Would it be risky to let Tsuki draw him? He didn't want an image of himself lying around…then again, he could always ask for it as a gift.

"Er…alright?"

Tsuki beamed, but it quickly faded. "Oh. I don't have a pen. They took away all the pointy things. Do you have a pen or a pencil on you?"

L reached into his seemingly endless pockets, yielding only a black sharpie marker. "Will this work?"

"Sure. Hand it over."

L tossed the marker and Tsuki caught it between his hands, glancing at it for a second before flipping open the notebook to an empty page, already slightly marred by graphite smears. He looked back up at L for a few seconds before turning back to his notebook and beginning to draw, the sharpie squeaking quietly.

L took a few steps forwarded, seemingly examining the room, but really trying to get into a position where he could sneak a glance at Tsuki's notebook. His eyes shifted over to the page, and—

"Hey! I'm not done yet, you have to wait!" Tsuki brandished the sharpie like a sword and pulled the notebook protectively against his chest with one hand. L sighed, taking a few steps back. "There. I'm not looking."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure. Please continue."

Tsuki cast L one last suspicious glance before returning to the paper. Only a few moments later, he put the sharpie on the night table and held the notebook out to L. "There. Now you can look."

L walked forward and grasped the notebook eagerly, folding the cover back and examining the page. His eyes widened quietly.

"Tsuki-kun…"

"Yes?"

"Why do I have a tail and ears?"

"Because you look like a monkey."

L glanced down at the page. The figure drawn in sharpie was somehow already smudged, and looked like a too-thin cartoon. L narrowed his eyes, looking highly affronted. "I do _not_ look like a monkey!"

"But you do!" cried Tsuki, bolting upright in bed. "Everybody looks like some sort of animal, and you're a monkey! I told you I draw my first impression of everyone."

"That's absolutely _ridiculous_," steamed L, seemingly dropping his emotionless façade and looked down at Tsuki furiously. "I am _not_ a monkey. I am especially not a lemur!"

"_But you are!_" Tsuki's face was getting red, and he lowered himself into a crouching position. "That's exactly it! You're a lemur! Give me a hug, monkey man!"

Tsuki sprung, wrapping his arms around L's midsection and clinging on for dear life. The chain jerked his arm back slightly, but he had a death grip on the detective's waist.

"What are you—_get off of me, you limpet!"_

"Wait! You have a bad--" Tsuki was cut off as L tried with both hands to push him away, subsequently ending up just putting his hands over Tsuki's face. "—vibe!" Tsuki called from underneath L's grasp, sounding slightly muffled. "Hugs can fix it!"

"Hugs-most-certainly-can-_not-_fix-it-" with one final shove, L pried Tsuki off him and stumbled backwards, falling into the armchair which had been placed by Raito's bed, and collapsed into it, feeling highly violated. He closed his eyes, and a few moments later, the silence was broken by:

"I think something is seriously wrong with you."

"Me?" L looked up. "Tsuki-kun is the one touched me inappropriately."

"Did I?"

"Yes, you did."

"And you didn't like it?"

"I didn't like it at all."

"I'm sorry I touched you inappropriately." intoned Tsuki sincerely. "I didn't think about how you'd feel. I won't do it again."

L paused, unsure of what to say. "Well…good."

There was an awkward silence in the room for a few seconds. L was the one to break it this time. "So, you, ah, like _Reptiles and Amphbians_?" L turned his head sideways to look at the book Tsuki was reading, the one that was now laying on the end of the bed.

"Oh, yes. I love reptiles and amphibians. And bugs. And animals." Tsuki thought for a moment. "I like this book too, because I haven't seen any in real life except for the zoo. I went to the zoo, one time."

L smiled, pleased that they had found something relatively normal, albeit not terribly interesting, to speak about rather than be molested. "I've seen quite a lot of snakes and frogs. I grew up in an orphanage, and we had some surrounding woodlands. I used to go outside with a net and jar and try to catch things. But I'd always have to let them go before I got back in the house, though." L sighed morosely. "My caretaker got mad at me once, for bringing in a live snake. I had been storing my animals in the upstairs bathroom…he pulled the drain out of the tub that had the water snakes, and flushed the toilet that held the frogs. A pity really, they were fine specimens."

Tsuki frowned. "That's not very nice, to kill the animals like that."

L shrugged "When I was younger I was struck by the injustice of it all, and I didn't speak to him for at least a week. I rebelled by going out and bringing in more animals and bugs until I was grounded. I was so mad…but I realize, now, that's probably the same thing I would have done had somebody in my care brought reptiles and stored them in the plumbing."

"Why couldn't you buy a tank?"

L chuckled. "There were other children besides me, you know. Younger ones. It would have been dangerous and unhealthy to keep them."

"I guess," murmured Tsuki. He looked outside for a moment. "I'd really like to go outside sometime. The others would too, I'm sure."

L wondered for a brief moment whether or not he was talking about the other patients, or the other Raito's.

"Will you take me out sometime when security's not so tight? I'd like to go see snakes. Or frogs. I would love to see the ocean, actually—I've never seen the ocean." Tsuki's voice seemed to be coming from far away. "I read and I see pictures of boats, and lots of fish. But my first memories are of this place--" Tsuki waved a hand at the wall. "—so I've never seen anything like that. Will you take me, sometime?"

L blinked, startled by this display of almost-maturity. He shifted back and forth on his feet for a second before nodding and walking forward, kneeling slightly so that he was at Tsuki's eye level on the bed. "I promise that by next month today, at the very latest, you will see the ocean."

"You…you really mean it?" Tsuki contemplated this for a moment, then stuck out his hand, little finger exposed and hooked. "Pinky swear if you mean it."

L paused for a moment. Had it really been so long since he'd done something childish like this? Yes--, he answered himself. Yes, it had. Not since another boy at the orphanage made him promise not to tell Wammy about the stolen pan of apple fritters at Christmas.

L wrapped his abnormally long little finger around Tsuki's pinky and shook it up and down a few brief times. "Pinky swear."

---------------

Mikami entered Tsuki's room an hour or two later, prepared for the worst, and to his surprise was greeted by the sound of quiet chuckling, and something that sounded vaguely like…airplane noises?

He looked around. Tsuki was kneeling on the bed with his arms spread-eagle, somewhat marred by the chain around his wrist, but persevering nonetheless. Ryuzaki was sitting—if you could call it that--on the chair next to the bed in that odd crouch of his, shoulders shaking slightly. It took a second for Teru to realize the man was _laughing, _his mouth wasn't open, but small chuckling seemed to be emanating from him all the same.

L took notice of Mikami. "Oh, hello Mikami-san. Tsuki-kun was just demonstrating the proper hang-gliding technique. He seems to be uncannily well-versed in the art, despite hardly ever having left the grounds of this facility."

Tsuki put his arms down. "I can do a screech owl too. Wanna hear?"

"No!" shouted Teru and L simultaneously. They proceeded to glance at each other in embarrassment, before Teru turned back to Tsuki and explained that he _couldn't_ do a screech owl because the elderly patients across the hall were sleeping, and it would disturb their nap and set the schedule off.

Tsuki nodded in understanding. "Oooh, I see. Shh." He put a finger to his lips.

If he was going to get Raito out on a small bail, L thought, he had best start making the preparations now. He addressed Mikami politely; explaining to the doctor the situation regarding his promise to Tsuki, the boy himself was now absorbed once again in _North American Reptiles and Amphibians_.

"So, I think I'd take him to the pier. There are a lot of ships there…he might like to see it. It's also less crowded then any beach in this region."

Mikami exhaled gently, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose again as if contemplating the offer. "Well…if a few weeks go by without any incident, maybe. But you have to remember, Ryuga-san, that a man is dead here—he had a wife and kids. We can't afford any mistakes." Teru looked at L, a grave expression on the doctor's face.

"I understand that." said L quietly. "Do not think I am unaware of the seriousness of the situation. However, I do not think Raito-kun—or any of his alter egos—are responsible."

Teru's brow furrowed. "I don't quite know what to say to that. I'd like to say I'm happy, but that means that somebody else killed Hatori. So what do you think happened?"

"I am not sure what happened, but think of the facts—you don't have any _real_ knives at this hospital, correct?"

For a split second it appeared that Mikami had a strange glint in his eye, but it was gone almost immediately. "No knives, not like the one he used, no."

"And we already removed the last knife that he'd gotten at the restaurant from his person, so he couldn't have had another, not unless Hatori himself had been actually carrying one—which would be both impossible and stupid, given the circumstances. So, it must mean that Raito picked up the knife _in_ the bathroom—the only question is how and why. If, for some reason, a knife was stupidly left on the floor of the bathroom, then Kira might have picked it up and stabbed Hatori with it, but that doesn't seem to make any sense, unless your hospital has had a serious breach in security."

"It doesn't really add up though," frowned Mikami "Where did he get the knife, then?"

"What if…" L thought, the cogs working overtime in his brain almost visible. "What if, perhaps, somebody else wanted to kill Hatori?"

Teru's eyes widened. "B-but how! And why?"

"I don't know why…but what could have happened is this. The assassin knows somebody on the inside of the hospital, and with their help manages to sneak in the knife. It is similar to the type Kira has used, although there is an 83% chance that's just a coincidence. They know Hatori's patients—that he specializes in—well, that he specializes in people like Raito. So they wait. Until he's alone with one of said patients—to make it look like an accident, of an occupational hazard. And, when they see him go with Raito, they make sure no one else is around, and then follow him."

"And," Mikami looked pale "They kill him. But what about Raito?"

"Kira protects Raito—it's possible that seeing the knife, or the blood, if it was already that late, triggered Kira. Kira has a brief scuffle with the assassin, the assassin might purposely drop the knife and leave—and Kira grabs the knife and holds it out towards the door to make sure he's prepared if the assassin comes back. Time passes, and suddenly Raito is back—and he wakes up with a knife in one hand, and a dead body on the floor."

Teru shook his head disbelievingly. "Ryuzaki…that's…that's bloody brilliant. Did anyone ever tell you you should be a detective or something? Geez!"

L allowed a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. "I've often been told that, Mikami-kun. But, sadly, I do not possess the aptitude for such a thing. Too much paperwork, you see—I prefer my job of studying different reptiles. Much more interesting, in my opinion."

"To each their own, I suppose." Teru smiled "Well, I can give the board your explanation—if they buy it, we can get the police to start looking for an assassin, and you can take Tsuki, or Raito, to the ocean. Sound fair enough?"

"Fair enough, Mikami-ku--_SMASH_

There was a crash from behind them.

L and Teru looked around. "Tsuki-kun…?"

"Oh…um…I can fix that." Tsuki gestured at the lamp which had taken up residence on the ground.

---------------

Mikami walked down the hall, muttering to himself. Stupid Ryuzaki, why couldn't he just be afraid like a normal person and leave, and let them deal with this? _"Although," _Teru reasoned _"he isn't half bad at working things out. Maybe we could hire him as a private detective or something."_

Teru mused with this idea for a while before returning to his original train of thought. He snorted at the thought of 'asking the board'—the idea was laughable. The board, believing something like that, given the circumstances that _Ryuzaki_ was all too unaware of—the ones that made Teru lie awake at night, and made his sleeping nightmares almost as bad as his waking ones.

However, they would probably let Raito go on his little day-trip. They would consider it an interesting experiment—and for the safety of all the parties, maybe have a cop accompany them.

Teru sighed. "I'll have to plan a meeting with them, won't I…" how he hated board meetings. He sometimes doodled under his desk the entire time. Made him wish he'd been a lawyer instead, a private practice lawyer—not having to go to stupid board meetings.

Damn, why had he chosen his doctorate over law school?

------------

L broke through the haze of an unremembered dream, brilliant mind working slower than usual. In a dream, he'd grasped onto a memory, analyzed it, and realized there was a problem with it. So now, half asleep, still caught somewhere in dreamland, something started to click."Wait a second…"

Something Teru had said seemed wrong, but at the time L couldn't place it. What was it again?

Maybe…something to do with silver…no, that couldn't be it…silver…Kira…but Raito is so, so much nicer…

L drifted off to sleep again, the small, lucid, resisting part of his mind finally giving in to the urge to lose him to the wonderful unconsciousness.

He thought of Raito once more, and had pleasant dreams.

-----------

A/N: Sorry if this is a bit confusing—it will make sense later on. I'm actually not just pulling this out of my butt here like usual.

Damn, sorry for the short chapter! I'm kind of tired. But hey, I might actually had more to this chapter, so keep checking your email people!

**Oh!** I just wanted to explain a little something—Tsuki isn't stupid, but he acts kind of like a little kid. Since this is Raito's subconscious's way of trying to be innocent, the childlike personality fits. Or, at least that's my reasoning. It's also common in MPD patients for different personalities to have different ages? Any thoughts on this?

No beta this time. They're all asleep. So, if you see any mistakes (I too, have insomnia, and I am DEAD tired) feel free to point them out.

So, love it? Hate it? Review, please! I need feedback, because I want to improve!

Thanks for reading!!!


	6. Listening

A/N: I AM SO SORRY. FOR TWO REASONS. 1. I took so long on this chapter, and oh, make that three reasons.

2. It's only half a chapter. Things have been really hectic lately with school, and I'm still adjusting to the new place. Next semester is going to be even worse because my classes are tougher. And

3. NaNoWriMo is taking place during the month of November. For those of you who don't know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, where you're challenged to write a 50,000 word novel in the month. I started mine yesterday, on November the 1st, and hope to finish by November 30th. It will definitely not be easy, so I'll be going on a one-month hiatus from fanfiction. Gomen nasai.

If anyone cares, I'm okay and working hard. On schoolwork. I should really get outside more as I'm quite unhealthy at the mo, and Halloween candy is definitely not doing anything for my figure =/ I've also made new friends in my new school, because you get to interact with people in other grades more in high school. I think that for a freshman, I've gained a fair amount of respect by speaking my opinion and talking with older students =) so if it's any consolation, I've been interacting more with people (hence my long absence) including my family, and I spend more time with them, and despite the fact that there are still issues to work through, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

I hope you enjoy this next, fractured chapter. I split it in half for two reasons: 1. It would be really really long and awkward otherwise, and 2. I need to go work on my novel now.

Fair people, I love you all. Really, I do, and I feel incredibly guilty knowing that I am making you wait this long. But when I get home from a hard day and am very frustrated, your feedback and appreciation is what makes me smile =) (--look, a smile)

Now, without further interruption (mega AN, wowza)…

-------------------------------

Time passed. Security got more relaxed, and Raito was allowed outside of his room if he was accompanied by at least two people, occasionally armed. L had seen nothing of Kira since his original attack in the break room, and despite his best efforts to remain vigilant, he, too, was growing relaxed.

Going to the hospital had become something of a serious hobby— he'd finish a less important case and then Watari would drive him over, L's main excuse being that a man had been killed and that L would not stop until the real murderer was brought to justice.

Of course, if the murderer actually _did _turn out to be Raito… but he couldn't think about that.

The three boys L had seen the day he met Tsuki—the gamer, the blond, and Near—had been showing up more and more, and L had learned that the boys accompanying Near were Mello, the anger-management case, and Matt, Mello's friend, presumably the one who was indirectly responsible for the German boy's presence here. They were starting to get friendly with him, too.

In his time there, L had also met two new personalities, which the doctors enjoyed discussing, because they believed that the two were counterparts of each other—a male and a female part, a personality split in two by gender.

L's first meeting with the male personality had gone something like this:

"_Hi. It's nice to meet you…" Light's voice was completely devoid of emotion, and he seemed distracted. L decided it would be best if he advanced cautiously—this was uncharted territory. He knew this particular face had caused trouble due to rampant mood swings, and he was obviously not in a very good mood today. L kept his distance, both physically and emotionally._

"_Please, call me Ryuzaki."_

"_Oh, Ryuzaki. Yes. You're famous around here. Quite famous." _

_L stared into Light's eyes, noting how dead this splintered fraction of Raito seemed._

"_So it would seem."_

"_I hear you caused some trouble a few days ago. Tried to escape from your room?"_

"_It was worth it," replied Light without missing a beat. L blinked._

"_Worth having to hide yourself?"_

_It was Light's turn to distance himself. "What do you mean?"_

"_I mean that sometimes when I come here, Raito and Tsuki and Nora seem a bit off."_

"_Funny. Nobody else ever notices." Light allowed a hardened smile to make its way to his face. "I'm pretty good at them, considering I've never even met them, aren't I?"_

"_You're quite adept at portraying somebody else with only a description of their personality. But you made some mistakes."_

"_Oh? I'd like to learn what I did wrong."_

_L raised his thumb to this mouth and bit down on it to conceal the smile there. "Well, for one thing, Tsuki-kun doesn't like carrots."_

"_Figures," muttered Light "The little brat. Did I do anything else wrong?"_

"_Raito would never laugh at a joke about orphans like myself. You portray him very insensitively. And when you're him, you laugh too loudly."_

_Light shrugged. "I'm doing it all on descriptions and journal entries, you know. I can't have _every _aspect of a personality down pat when I don't even know the person."_

"_So you've said."_

"_Did I do anything wrong on Nora?"_

_L paused for a moment, thinking. "I don't know Nora very well, but from what I've seen, you do her best. Does this mean, perhaps, that Light-kun is more adept at portraying a woman because secretly he wishes-"_

"_Stop. Now." Light groaned, putting his fingers to his temple. "If you notice when I pretend to be one of the others, the rest of them are bound to notice soon, I guess." His tone left no doubt in L's mind who 'they' were._

_L shrugged. "Perhaps, perhaps not. I've always been good at picking up small details."_

_Light shot him a cursory glance. "You know Raito well now, don't you?"_

_L stopped, briefly surprised. "Yes, I suppose I do, now that you come to mention it…I know all of him well." The detective shrugged, sounding nonchalant. _

_Light merely raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. So you think you know him, huh? All of him? Well, I've got a secret for you."_

_L turned his head to the side inquisitively._

_Light's knuckles whitened as his grip tightened on the chair arm he was holding. "You'll never know him—no, me-- as well as you think you do. Never. I can guarantee that."_

"_What do you--"_

_But in the next instant, Light was gone._

"_Ryuzaki?"_

"_It's just me, Raito-kun."_

His first meeting with the female had been a little more awkward, and a lot briefer.

"_Light? No. I think you've got the wrong person. My name is Nora."_

"_Pardon me, er, Madame…"_

"_Quite alright, quite alright. Some people make that mistake when they first meet me…"_

"_Oh…oh, please don't cry miss, I didn't mean it like that…"_

"_N-No, it's—it's fine—now, please, excuse me--"_

"_Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about--"_

"_OUT!"_

And he hadn't seen either of them since. Of course, if the mutters of the doctors were anything to go by, the Light/Nora personality took sport in masquerading as a different personality, and sometimes inventing a new one entirely, but fake, of course, and it was a pain. Those took forever to sort out, and sometimes entire files would be created before Light and Nora decided they had grown bored with that particular personality and wanted to move on to the next one.

The recorded 'false' personalities to date were; a circus clown, an angry old man, a bubbly teenage girl (Nora had taken great delight in flirting with the doctors), a small bratty child, and a rather mordant preteen girl author.

It was quite confusing, but L was starting to learn his way around the psychological labyrinth nestled in Raito's mind.

In short, everything seemed to be looking up except for one tiny—or not so tiny--issue. BB.

L didn't visit BB when he saw his cousin was not coherent enough to notice his presence; L's emotional bonds were not strong enough for him to sit there while his doppelganger rambled on about senseless things. BB had also been prone to violent fits now and again, sometimes going so far as to throw his own feces at the doctors, whom he regarded with a raw, unadulterated hatred.

Everyone else put it down to just various psychotic disorders, but L could not help but think that there was something more. BB's deterioration quite frankly made no sense. He was getting top-of-the-line care at L's personal request (had L not paid the extra money, he would have been shipped off to whatever asylum would take him), and the doctors were using techniques with him that had made countless patients show improvement. Unless there was another underlying trauma vying with it, there was no reason BB should be deteriorating so _fast_.

L would think more on that later—but now, his promise.

...Which had been approved by this board without even a bribe, L had been surprised to learn. He had been willing to pay a few thousand yen, at least. Of course, with him, money was no object.

He had, however, encountered a slight snag on the way to Raito's room.

It had started with L seeing that Mello boy, who had jumped when he'd seen L and raced into the room behind him, which, if L remembered correctly, happened to be Near's. Weren't Near and Mello enemies?

L had continued walking, but then Mello, Near, and the redheaded boy had appeared in his path so fast that L was surprised they hadn't broken some sort of continuum.

"Ryuzaki? Hideki-san?"

"Yes," said L guardedly. "Hello again, Near. And Mello, I presume?"

The two boys nodded, and Mello put an arm around the redhead's shoulders. "This is Matt. He doesn't live here, but he's my friend. He comes to visit a lot."

"Well, hello Matt. Nice to meet you too." L nodded in the younger boy's direction. "I would love to talk, but sadly, I have made a prior commitment on this day. Now, if you'll excuse me..." L moved to the side, but the three boys stepped with him.

L frowned, took a step toward the other side, but yet again found his way blocked. "May I help you?"

Near nodded slowly. "As a matter of fact, yes." He took a few steps forward, as if he was the chosen diplomat of the group. "It's no secret that you're taking Raito out today—and, well, we'd like to go, too."

L raised his eyebrows. "I'm afraid that's not possible. Doesn't it take at least a week's advanced notice for a motion to be approved by the board?"

"But we haven't murdered anyone!" Mello blurted out, "and the board doesn't care about us! Please?"

"Please, Ryuzaki-san? Mello and Near and I won't get it your way. They haven't been out in forever, and I haven't been to the pier in forever either. Please?" Matt adopted a pleading expression similar to Mello's and Near's, but something about it looked slightly less sincere.

L was willing to bet it was the unlit cigarette clamped between his teeth, hanging out of the side of his mouth.

"I'm sorry. I cannot take you out—I already told you why. Also, I did not plan on a class field trip. If anything happened, you _know_ I would be held accountable." L watched as the air seemed to go out of Mello and Near, and Matt shot them sympathetic looks. He felt a small pang of pity, and continued. "However, we may go on a day trip another time—and that time, you will be able to come. We can have a small vote on where to go."

Near nodded as if appeased, but Mello whooped and fist-pumped the air. "Alright! I'm holding you to that promise, monkey man!"

"Monkey…man…?"

"Tsuki was right; you _do_ look like a monkey. Anyway, see ya!" Mello turned abruptly and began dragging Matt off with him. Matt shot L a vaguely amused look over his shoulder before allowing himself to be spirited away.

L, slightly disgruntled from being called a monkey by a second person, didn't hear Near at first, and only caught the back end of what he was saying.

"—will you?"

"Sorry, what? I got a little distracted."

"I said, 'he's dangerous, so be careful, will you?'"

L frowned. "Not this again. Hasn't it already been practically proven that Raito didn't kill Hatori?"

Near fixed L with a wide, blank stare. "If you knew what I knew…" Near turned away, "you wouldn't say that."

L frowned. "Near, I know you're intelligent, but I'm getting tired of these games. If you really had something to say, wouldn't you tell the doctors?"

Near bit his lip as if frustrated. "But you already _know_ they won't believe me. But fine. Go on your day trip. Something bad is going to happen—maybe Raito won't do anything, but trust me, something bad will happen. Sometimes I just know."

L opened his mouth, and closed it again, finding no appropriate response. He settled for shaking his head, murmuring, "You're being ridiculous."

"And you're being blind. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but it's really what I think." Near reached forward to give L a pat on the arm. "Good luck. I think something bad is going to happen, but I don't want it to. So, be careful." Near retracted his arm and turned away, following after Mello and Matt. Before he disappeared around the corner he shot L one last, sad glance, as if L was already on his death bed.

----------

"Ryuzaki… I think I'm going to throw up."

Tsuki curled up miserably in the back of the car, in a position that greatly resembled L's, except that he was covering his face with his hands. "My stomach doesn't feel good at _all._"

L looked at Watari, alarmed. He had been sick before, but had never dealt with anyone _else_ being sick. Watari seemed immune to all disease, and L was never in contact with anyone for long. He tried to think of what he'd always heard you should do.

"Er…put your head between your legs?"

"But that's impossible!" wailed Tsuki. "Who can bend that way?!"

"Ah," Watari cleared his throat, glancing in the rear-view mirror at his ward and his ward's friend. "Master L, I believe that would be counterproductive— Yagami-kun is experiencing something known as carsickness."

"Oh, yes, of course," said L, feeling rather slow today. "Tsuki-kun, look out the window."

"But it's so bright!"

"It's the only way to cure your motion sickness," said L sternly. "You see, your body knows you're moving, but since you're looking at something stationary your inner ear--"

"Fine," muttered Tsuki, cutting L off. "I'll look out the window. But I'll probably go blind, and it'll be all your fault." He narrowed his eyes at L before relenting and turning his head to face the window.

"Unnecessary, Yagami-kun. We're here now."

The pier was close, but L had taken the car for convenience. It was always good to have a car close by.

He looked at the window as Watari pulled into the designated parking area. Morning sun shown gently through trees, and L thought briefly _"I wish Raito was here to see this."_

But L, of course, had no say in whoever was there at any given time.

He waited until Watari had come around to open the door for him (feeling a slight pang of guilt for making the aging man cater to him) and then began to walk towards the boardwalk. This town was very small, but a prime real estate location as it was quite close to the ocean.

Of course, this also made it very _expensive_ real estate, hence it remained a small town.

He heard a small 'oof' as Tsuki tripped coming out of the car, then a "Be careful, boys!" before Watari turned the other way. It had been agreed that instead of leaving he'd situate himself in a nice bookstore, staying where it would be easy to pick up the car again. The man seemed happy to have a day off (or at least a half day) and his whistling soon faded around the opposite street corner.

"Hey, Ryuzaki, wait up, you're going _really_ fast,"gasped Tsuki, trying to speed-walk behind the older man.

"If Tsuki-kun hadn't taken so long getting out of the car he wouldn't be falling behind," replied L, feeling rather like an exasperated parent dragging along a troublesome child on a day trip.

"You're walking like, super fast. It's not my fault," muttered Tsuki mutinously.

This had the potential to be bad. "Come on," said L in what he hoped was an encouraging tone. "Don't you want to see the ocean?"

At this, the younger boy brightened considerably. "Yeah!"

"Then, let's go."

"Okay. But you have to slow down!"

"…" L shot him a withering glare.

"…"

"…fine."

Tsuki beamed and quickened his pace, talking too fast for L to even begin to catch what he was saying.

"H-Hey, calm yourself!" L grabbed onto the back of Tsuki's sweater as, once again, he leaned too close to the edge of the pier for comfort.

"But I—ow, leggo!—I wanted to see the boat--"

"You can see it perfectly fine from here," L admonished sternly.

It was a perfectly lovely day (L was not quite of this opinion, having reacted in a manner similar to that of a vampire hitting sunlight) and the sky was a very pale, very clear blue. The water from the ocean was hard to look at, as the sunlight reflecting off it was almost blinding, but Tsuki hadn't minded and had immediately dragged the PI down to the pier to look at fish and poke the barnacles clinging to the rotting support beams.

This had three times nearly resulted in a soaking, in which case nobody would have been very happy.

Eventually L had gotten Tsuki a stick so that he could jab innocent sea creatures to his heart's content, but then he'd noticed the boats, and both stick and sea creatures had been forgotten. The remainder of the day had consisted mainly of L trying to keep his charge alive and dry long enough to bring him back to the hospital in one piece, and helping him find the best vantage point to "see the boats."

It had gotten old after a while, thought L.

He was getting hungry and suspected that he was starting to go through sugar withdrawal—he was already having symptoms of absentmindedness. Also, although it might not have been the effect of the sugar, he was beginning to think somewhat critically about the entire trip.

'_I'm a renowned private investigator. I have work that needs to be done. I am not usually charitable, I don't do community service, and I don't join neighborhood watch. Why am I babysitting a teenager who's either brain dead, criminally insane, or mopey at any given moment? Why in the world am I REMOVING him from a mental institution? Oh dear God, he's going over the edge again—phew, that was close. I'm hungry now. Need sugar. Must increase reasoning ability.' _

L ended his long internal monologue with a spoken "Okay! Time for lunch!" He tried to clap his hands once, enthusiastically, but the action was more reminiscent of a masochistic seal then an enthusiastic clap. He winced visibly, but Tsuki didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, good. I was hungry. Where are we going?"

L looked around. The town was very touristy and fairly crowded as it was a weekend, but there was a restaurant nearby that looked like it would have some room for them. Unfortunately, L figured, this also meant that the food there was less than adequate, but he didn't want to take too long and he figured this would be the best option. Taking too long meant people might remember him more, and he was always strangely paranoid about people seeing his face, like the world was out to get him.

He was odd, that way.

"Come on," said L, pointing to the restaurant. "That looks like a nice place."

They stepped inside. It was a bit smoky, and the dull murmur of the restaurant and clinking of silverware set the atmosphere nicely. L was fairly sure he was the only person he knew who listened to the sounds of a restaurant as he went in—they rose and fell like ocean waves.

Ah. He liked that thought; it was the most poetic one he possessed.

"Ow!" somebody had bumped into Tsuki, muttering a quick 'sorry' and shuffling out of the way. "Meanie…"

L quickly distracted him. "Do you want to sit at the bar?" L tapped Tsuki on the shoulder and pointed at it.

Tsuki looked at the bar, frowned, and shook his head. "Look. The sign says you have to be twenty-one."

"How old are you?"

"Ten."

L just stared. It took him a few seconds to remember that this was a mental patient he was dealing with here. If Raito could have a female alter-ego, why not a younger one?

"Okay. We'll get a table. We can seat ourselves." L led them over to a granite table that looked like a food fight had been forever engraved on the scratched surface. The plastic covered bench seats made loud squelching noises as the pair shuffled onto them, L sitting like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and causing a few cursory glances to be sent their way.

Many were curious. One was more curious than the others. The person the pair of eyes belonged to was hired to be curious.

A waitress with obscenely large earrings and a prominent nose piercing came to take their order. Her nose was a little large, but she wasn't wholly unattractive, L noticed with vague disinterest. As usual, he was not interested. L did not get 'interested.' Out of blatant curiosity he turned to look at Tsuki, who seemed to be more interested in poking holes in the plastic tablecloth with his fork.

"Um…oh, can I help you two?"

"Yes," L glanced down at the menu and frowned. It appeared to consist mostly of seafood. Pooh. He hated fish. Tsuki paused briefly from his mutilation of the plastic sheet to point at a sushi dish, and then continued hacking merrily away.

"He'll have the number two," L gestured at Tsuki "And me, I'll have the yakizakana. Oh, and the fudge ice cream. Extra sprinkles." The fish wasn't as bad when it was grilled and not raw, but he would still need the ice cream to wash the taste out of his mouth.

"Well…" the waitress deliberated, wondering if she should bring up that those two foods were an unusual combination. She looked at L, who had his thumb in his mouth and was holding the menu upside-down, then at Tsuki, who was busy shredding the tablecloth into strips with the tongs of his fork.

She decided against it.

"Is there anything else I can get you gentlemen?" she asked in an overly-cheery sort of voice.

"No, nothing, thank you. Oh, except a coffee. Coffee would be nice. Cream, extra sugar. Actually just bring the whole bowl."

The waitress nodded and quickly made her escape.

"So, Tsuki-kun," L began casually. Tsuki looked up, still twisting his fork into the plastic sheet.

"First of all, put that down."

"Why?"

"It's annoying."

"Fine," muttered the childish alter-ego sullenly, purposely dropping the fork with a loud clang and contenting himself with tearing at it instead.

"And look at me when I'm speaking to you, please." L was suddenly and forcibly reminded of a conversation he'd had like this with Watari not too long ago, only he'd been on the receiving end of the admonishing, and had reacted very similarly to how Tsuki was reacting now.

God, he did have a child's mentality.

"So, have you been having fun?"

"Oh yeah! Lots of fun! I went and I saw those round things--"

"Barnacles," L was forcibly reminded of Tsuki's barnacle impression back in the hospital.

"—And I learned that when you poke them, they fall off--"

L winced visibly, thinking of the poor barnacles and limpets.

"—and I saw fish and boats, and—boats! Boats are cool. Very cool."

"I'm glad you liked them," said L, an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Yes! I loved them!" Tsuki looked happy, and L couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you so much, I…" Tsuki stopped suddenly as though he'd been smacked in the face. His eyes grew wide and vacant. "I…"

"Tsuki? Tsuki-kun!" L reached across the table to grab the younger boy by his shoulders and was prepared to shake a reaction out of him, when suddenly the other gasped and pushed L away.

He breathed heavily. "Ryuzaki."

"Raito?"

A quiet chuckle. "Hi."

"Hi to you too."

"I'm glad you could make it."

"I'm glad I could too…" Raito looked at L, and his face twisted into an odd expression.

"Raito-kun?"

Raito burst out laughing, causing half the restaurant to look their way and cement their opinions on the pair's overall sanity.

"Ryuzaki… you…" he choked and began laughing again, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"Raito-kun, what's wrong?!"

"Ryuzaki—you—you---have a…a sunburn!" he gasped, banging his fist against the table and making a fork rattle.

L drew back. "And this is so amusing why?"

"And now—oh, are you just blushing, or do you actually have sunburn?"

It was a little of both, actually. L's face was tinged pink, and he grumbled, "It's your fault. If it hadn't been for Tsuki-kun's continuous neediness, I might have remembered to put on sunscreen." Privately L wished Watari had been there to remind him, but then remembered he couldn't always rely on the man. He would be alone someday, too. Perish the thought. He sighed morosely, trying to banish the evil thought from his mind.

"Are you okay?" Raito's laughter quieted. "You looked sad."

"It was nothing, Raito-kun." L tried to look sincere. "Really. I was just thinking of something, but I don't want to talk about it right now. So--" L looked around. "Let's hurry up and get this meal finished so I can show you around before you leave again." The words were said in a monotone, but Raito knew he was joking. He'd known the enigma of a man long enough for that.

The waitress soon came back with their food. Raito's was slightly underdone, and L's fish was burned, but neither mentioned it. They both wanted to get out of this smoky place as soon as possible.

"I wasn't expecting to be here," Raito began suddenly.

"Hmm?" L had his mouth full. He swallowed, asked, "I'm sorry?"

"I wasn't expecting to be here. But I hoped. I hoped so much when I went to sleep last night."

"It would have been awful if you'd missed your only day out."

"Yeah," Raito was looking slightly dazed. "Come on. This food is terrible. I'm not even hungry. Can we do a dine and dash or something? Er, no, sorry." He looked embarrassed for having mentioned it. "I should know better. My dad's a cop."

"I'm in law enforcement, myself," said L before he could stop himself. He groaned inwardly, wanting to put his head in his hands. This had _never _happened before. Having a friend was making him drop his guard.

"Really? I thought you studied reptiles." There was a hard edge in Raito's voice now. "So you lied to me about your career as well as your name?"

"I did not lie--"

"You did," said Raito accusingly, sitting up straight now. "Why would you have the same name as that pop star, but go by a different name entirely when talking to other people? You're not very inventive with your names either."

"Maybe I hate my name _because_ it is that of a pop star and I want to downplay it, so I go by a nickname. Ever thought of that?"

Raito frowned. "Well, that still doesn't explain why I know practically nothing about you. Why do you never talk about your career, your personal life? You know all about me, and I know nothing about you. It's not fair."

This boy was giving him a headache now. "Don't be mad at me for not revealing the truth immediately, now," grumbled L, rubbing his temples with his forefingers. "I can explain."

Raito said nothing in reply, but turned his head slightly, beckoning L to continue.

"I'm in law enforcement, but I'm undercover. I use the reptile job as my cover," L explained. "I actually was going to tell you eventually, but I had to make sure you were no threat first."

Raito nodded. "I…I see. That must be very…"

L thought of questions someone might stereotypically ask a detective. _Hard? Interesting? Exciting? Take your pick._

"…lonely," Raito finished, looking slightly red in the face. There was silence for a few moments, before L cleared his throat and spoke again.

"It is a lonely business, I suppose. I've never really noticed. However, I have a close friend whose companionship I greatly enjoy, and then I have you." It was L's turn to be embarrassed, although he did not show it. Inwardly he was cringing. "Talking to you is a high point of my day, you know. My work is very stressful. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

Raito responded, and L laughed at something he said. The man in the corner's eyes widened. They would have to pay him _so much_ for this information. So the guy really was a detective after all. That was interesting to know—and he was befriending Raito and sharing this information with him. Also interesting. But why…?

The man's eyes narrowed, and he speculated. Could they have made a mistake? Mixed up Raito and another personality? But no, they checked, they made sure especially it was not Raito whenever they tested him. Better to use the personality whose mental health was shot to hell anyway.

It had to be a coincidence. Had to be.

The man looked up again and saw that L and Raito were leaving. "We'll find out soon enough about you, Ryuzaki…" he muttered, paying for the drink he'd been sipping at the bar and then sliding out of the room.

----------------------

"What is this?" laughed Raito; shaking the box L had bought him. "You didn't have to buy this for me, really."

"Don't shake the box!" L commanded, grasping Raito's hands in order to stop them from moving. L looked directly at Raito. "Be careful. It's breakable if you shake it."

Raito couldn't help but let a small shiver pass through him as L's hands slid away from his own. He didn't know why, and he tried to shrug it off. Instead he looked out ahead of him.

The park bench they were sitting on was bathed in the golden light of sunset. The ocean, too, was glinting a deep gold and blue.

It was actually giving L a slight headache. He didn't mention it.

"I wanted to get it for you," shrugged L. "It seemed like a fitting way to end the day."

"And I can't open it until I get back, correct?"

"Correct," L's eyebrows tilted upward in amusement.

"Hah," Raito smiled "I can't possibly guess what it is, so I won't even try. But this…" Raito looked at the box in his hands. It had a large store logo emblazoned on it; it must have been from one of the little shops they'd stepped into. But Raito hadn't actually seen L _buy_ anything. The man was a mystery in and of himself.

"This is really nice, Ryuzaki. It's been so long since I've just taken a day like this to go out. Thank you."

L blinked, mildly surprised. He put an awkward hand on Raito's shoulder, and seemingly didn't notice when the younger boy felt a small jolt run through him. But friends did this, right? "There's no need for you to _thank _me. I suppose anyone in my position would have done the same." L raised his other hand, chewing thoughtfully on his thumb.

"No. They wouldn't have."

"Hm?"

"They would have left me to rot in there," Raito sounded bitter. "They would have let me die in that place rather than risk taking me out."

L wanted to draw back, but didn't. He was a bit shaken by the turn the conversation had taken. _His mood changes so fast. It's impossible to know what he'll be like next._

"Ryuzaki."

L's breath hitched, just slightly. Raito was so _close_ to him. When had he done that?

"Thank you."

Raito was tired now, leaning against L, and L let him. All was well with the world.

-----------------

The man's eyes widened. A romantic relationship…could they really be plotting something?

His eyes narrowed. He would not go to the person paying him. Not yet.

----------------------------------------------------

A/N: Didja like it? I'm so tired…*yawn* maybe I'll make a proper note later.

Thank the lovely **Dlvvanzor** for beta-ing for me! Comments and concrit appreciated! Review on your way out please!

Have a happy November!


	7. Missing

A/N: *pokes head cautiously in, and yelps as she gets hit by various flying objects* AHH! I'm sorry! Don't kill me! I didn't mean to make you wait so looong!

*lowers defensive stance* Anyway, I've been having some writer's block lately. (Sort of) explanation is on my profile. Yes. Also, thank you **dadou** and **alinecat** for informing me that it autoset me so that I cannot receive unsigned reviews or review more than once in a chapter! Le Gasp! Well, I changed it, so you can now review to your heart's content XD and make me a veeery happy person.

And in my defense, I was stuck without internet for a while…then something kind of personal came up (as I told my beta, I can't explain what, but feel free to imagine me leaping from tall building to tall building in the dead of night wearing a black jumpsuit and clutching a priceless diamond in one hand that I'll use to save an orphanage from being sold in place of an explanation) Yes.

In case any of you were wondering: on Nov. 29, my word count for National Novel Writing Month was 50, 292. I turned it in and became a NaNoWriMo winner. It's been a huge confidence boost for me—writing chapters of this story feels easy compared to having to write, on average, 2,000 words day for a month. And gosh, I'd been typing in font 9 or 10 so long, that this font looks enormous to me XD Anyway, did anyone else do it? Did anyone else win? Speak oop!

Well, I gave you some fluff last chapter—yay for fluff!—but it's just going to get more serious from here on out, just to warn you xP But I will be putting lighthearted moments in, most likely on accident, as I can't write anything for long without adding comedy elements ;_;

By the way—does anyone else feel like writing an A/N helps get them into the swing of the story? It's like a little warm-up for me. Thoughts on this?

But I digress =) now, enjoy the next chapter! (Love you all so much, really do 3)

"I think we may have to kill him."

The words caused a small uproar around the room. A thick male voice argued, "But we can't kill him now! We've already made so much progress!"

Another voice, seemingly reasoning, said, "It's not like he actually knows anything. You know by now what precautions we take. You're only being paranoid that he _might_ know something because something _might_ have slipped. In any situation in which he could tell somebody, he's not coherent enough to do it anyway."

"I just say we kill him and be done with it. Better safe than sorry. Plus, isn't the one in B68 ready to take his place now?" asked the first voice, sounding slightly annoyed. He himself knew something that made him desperately need this death—just, just this once.

"I'm just a little annoyed that we'll have to start again from the beginning," said the second voice.

"But I hear B68 has already had some experience, so we'll be able to work twice as fast, and without the same mistakes that we made with the earlier ones." The speaker of the third voice seemed to have changed their mind abruptly. "I can personally pay for the death myself. I know somebody."

"I say we do it," said the first voice. "If nothing changes, it should happen a few months from now—when everything's ready. We should give B68 a good head start, though. I need to know we've already gotten somewhere in a few month's time. So, when everything's ready."

"Yes. When everything's ready."

Nurse Amane shook her head sadly, and L sighed. According to her—and every other doctor he'd spoken to here—BB wasn't going to make a recovery any time soon. In fact, he might never make a recovery. L wondered vaguely if BB would miss him if L stopped visiting so frequently—it had become more of a chore than anything else—and it had never really been a pleasure in the first place. All things considered, BB was just slightly creepy, even before he'd been diagnosed with his small myriad of psychotic disorders, the first and foremost being the whole "copy everything your older cousin does" phase, where he'd purposely dressed like L and made his hair messy.

Now his hair was just messy as he didn't bother with it and only bathed when forced to, which wasn't often, as it was only a routine cleanup procedure occurring anywhere from once a week to once every two weeks. It was just too much hassle to do it any more than that. On a good day, BB would be quiet and remain limp as he was dipped into the warm water, but on a bad day, he fought the doctors kicking and screaming. It awkward to L; even though he knew BB had a legit disability, he couldn't help feeling slightly embarrassed, even though he knew he shouldn't.

It was just another reason why L tried not to focus too much on feelings—when they got in the way of rational thought, there was a troublesome internal conflict. L, of all people, did not have time for such trivial matters.

"L," BB croaked from the bed. His eyes were bloodshot and his hands twitched, and L felt a strange mixture of pity and unease take root inside him. He pushed it away quickly, and tried to be the strong cousin.

"Yes?"

BB blinked in surprise, furrowing his brow. "You're really here? Usually you don't ever answer…" His eyes were clouded and confused, even on a day as good as this. The repercussions of his disease had drained him both physically and mentally.

L's sense of pity grew. It was uncomfortable. "Well, I'm here now. Would you like to talk?"

BB closed his eyes and leaned his head back, as if feeling phantom raindrops against his face.

"I'm going to die." The murmur slipped from his lips nonchalantly, as if remarking on some insignificant detail. L started in surprise, wondering if he'd just heard what he thought he had.

"Pardon?"

"Soon, very soon. I can feel it."

"You're tired. You need to sleep. You're not dying on my watch," said L quietly, unsure of quite how to respond to this.

"Very soon, Lawliet," BB mumbled.

"Please don't use that name here." To his credit, L remained quite calm, even as his real name was spoken aloud. "The walls have ears, you know."

"I know," BB grinned suddenly. "I know better than anyone."

"Should I come back later?"

"Better than anyone. I hear them speaking."

"Goodbye, B. I'll come back later."

"Anyone…"

L crushed the small pang of pity that arose in his heart as he listened to Beyond, sounding so listless, unsure. He hated it—maybe this place wasn't good for him after all, he thought as he walked out the door and looked at the people walking through the hallways. He'd met people here—Raito, Near, even Matt and Mello—and they were twisting and pulling his emotions out of him, violent and uncontrollable.

And there was nothing L hated more than not having any control over something.

He stopped outside Raito's door, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. The familiar entryway now seemed impenetrable, slightly sinister.

It had been Raito's fault, L thought, annoyed. _He_ himself had been acting perfectly fine, nonchalant, when Raito had suddenly and unconsciously decided to invade his personal space (although he hadn't thought of it that way at the time. At the time Raito had just been tired) and then, after they had left, acted awkward and uncomfortable.

L knocked on the door. Some of the security had been lifted, so when the replying invitation to come in was called out, he was able to walk in without further hesitation.

Raito was standing at the window, hands in his pockets. He looked around when L came in, and, keeping his face emotionless, wordlessly walked around the small, round table near the window and pulled out a chair for L to sit on.

L looked up from Raito's leg. "You're limping." It was slight, but it was there. Raito scowled at this, like he had been found out, and had been hoping L wouldn't notice. Or maybe he'd just forgotten it was there himself and disliked being reminded. To his credit, he played it cool. His face relaxed, and the tension drained out of his posture. He looked down at his own left leg in surprise, as if he'd just noticed it was there. "So I am."

"May I ask why?"

"You can ask, but it doesn't mean I'll tell you."

" Is Raito-kun perhaps engaged in strenuous activities that might hurt his leg?"

The smallest trace of a grin flitted over the other's features. "You could call it that, I suppose. Strenuous activities indeed."

"So he admits to…?"

Raito laughed. "I didn't say anything. You're just making assumptions, remember? Maybe I just ran into the table which is so badly placed here." He lightly lifted his leg and bumped it against the table as if to demonstrate.

"Somehow I don't think that is the case, Raito-kun." A wry little smile rested on L's lips. "But I also do not think he will tell me at the moment. He will tell me when he is ready." It was not a question, as if L already knew the answer.

"_Why are you always so sure of yourself?" _Raito blatantly changed the subject. "So what brings you here?"

L took on a laughably hurt expression. "I can't visit my favorite friend?"

"Probably your only friend. It's the only reason you'd bum around a psychiatric hospital."

"Raito-kun is mean. How does he not know that I have important business to attend to here?"

Raito shot him a look of disdain. "Ryuzaki. Come on. You wouldn't come here and spend at least an hour or two a day with me if you actually had something important to do. Come to think of it, doesn't your boss get mad that you come so often? You must work really weird hours if you haven't been fired for missing work yet."

"My hours are somewhat strange." L remembered many nights of sluggish typing (of course, his definition of 'sluggish' was a lot faster than everybody else's) and cold coffee and multiple bathroom breaks. "My boss…" Watari's angry face popped abruptly into his mind, although he was far from L's 'boss,' "is not overly happy about the arrangement, but will make no attempt to stop me."

Raito looked at him, hard, as if he were trying to see right through L. "It's funny, I still don't know you that well, even though you do come over so much. You always change the subject when I ask about you. All I really know about you is about your personality, interests…why do you never talk about your job? Your family? I know about your parents, but you must have _somebody_ you've found. Who do you spend holidays with? Come on, Ryuzaki."

L's mouth felt slightly dry. He swished his tongue around. _"I'd really like to tell you more about me. Too bad you can't even know my name. Maybe someday, when you're out of school and can get a job…" _"Someone like you wouldn't think my job is very interesting. And I celebrate holidays with my grandfather, he found me after I was out of the orphanage."

"Huh. Sounds nice. Maybe--"

He was interrupted by a slightly frantic knock on the door. Raito sighed and rubbed his leg, but nevertheless got up to answer it. "I feel like the most popular guy here, you know?" he joked dryly as he moved towards the door.

"I'm closer," said L, who leaned out of his seat to pull it open. Doctor Teru stepped in, saw L, and stopped abruptly. He looked up and met Raito's eyes, and for a split second, they exchanged a knowing look, a mutual understanding. L's eyes flicked from Teru to Raito, and did not miss what they shared. L bit his tongue to keep himself from asking 'What?' and simply nodded. "Doctor Teru."

"Ryuzaki, good to see you again." Teru's ever-present smile returned. "Sorry to interrupt, I just needed a word with Raito. Would you mind…?"

L nodded and stood. "Sure. I can just step outside…"

"No, not necessary." The grin on Mikami's face became slightly strained. "Raito can just come out here, we'll only be a moment or two."

"Wha—oh, yeah, I mean, yes." Raito exited through the door that Teru held open for him, shooting L an apologetic look as if to say sorry. Mikami smiled, nodded, and shut the door, leaving L alone in the room.

L shifted one from foot to the other uncomfortably. Teru, and maybe Raito, were definitely up to something. L needed information. He could. But he really shouldn't. No, no, he definitely shouldn't…but he could. But, would they be back soon and catch him in the act? He cast a cursory glance at the door. There was no movement outside, only the barely-heard tones of two strained voices. He wanted to listen at the door, but that was downright stupid. No, a better and much more desirable course of action would be, of course, to search Raito's room.

There might be cameras here. But then, if they really wanted to respect privacy, there wouldn't be any. L tossed and turned it over in his mind. Well if he wanted to search, he better do it now before Raito and Teru came back. The door was loud, he'd know if the knob was being turned.

L set to work, quietly regretting not bringing a wiretap of some sort. But then, he hadn't anticipated the opportunity. Nothing under the bed—nothing in the night-table drawer. He tapped lightly on the night-table. Solid, sturdy, would not conceal anything out of the ordinary. He moved to the chest of drawers in the corner and pulled open the first one. Every shirt and sweater was neatly folded, the box that contained the chess set and board was pushed into the corner. A quick lift of the lid revealed nothing out of the ordinary, still the same battered set.

L closed the first drawer and opened the one below it. He immediately froze. A bloodstained white shirt lay on top of the other neatly folded clothes, but crumpled, as if it had been quickly stuffed in.

Kira had not shown himself capable of logical thought, he didn't care if he got discovered or not, so why would he do this?

"_Oh, Raito. Oh, please, you can't have done that…not _that…" Of course he probably would have heard about a murder right now if anybody had actually died—the knob of the door shook, and L slammed the drawer shut as quietly as he could, then practically leaped back to his previous seat, resting in it just a second or two before the door opened.

"Damn door is always getting stuck," Raito grumbled as he walked in. He shot L a cryptic look, as if trying to communicate something, but its meaning was lost on L.

"Hello, Ryuzaki. I hope we weren't long." Teru stopped in the doorway. "I'd love to stay and chat, but Doctor Kiyomi is sick today, so I have to cover for her on some of her patients."

"That's fine, Doctor Teru," Raito smiled. "Ryuzaki and I hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk yet anyway."

"Just don't talk so much you wear yourself out, okay?" There it was again, the mutual-understanding look that had disturbed L so much the first time he saw it. But it was over in an instant, and soon the goodbyes had been said and Teru was gone.

There was silence in the room for a few seconds before Raito sat down in the chair nearest L, turning it so that it faced the other man. "Ryuzaki," he said. "Let's talk."

L chuckled. "Don't we always? About what?"

"I don't know. Something. Books, music, current events. Whatever you want."

"You sound like you're deprived of my attention," L said, only half-jokingly. "And yet you make fun of my being here. Raito-kun is undeserving of my friendship."

"Maybe I am," he smiled. "But if you stopped hanging around you'd get lonely. So we're even."

"You speak…what is probably the truth," L grudgingly admitted. "But no matter. You wanted to talk, right? So let's talk."

And they did. For an hour or so, until L had nearly, for the moment, forgotten all about the bloodstained shirt he'd found in Raito's drawer and the _looks_ Mikami and Raito had exchanged, as if they knew something he didn't. For an hour or so, it was just another, normal day spending his time here (Watari would say wasting it, but L knew better), and they were talking, and L could keep up the illusion for a little longer, and _tried_ to, but suddenly Raito ruined it by saying, "Hey, Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what, Raito-kun?"

The other shifted uncomfortably. "Being my friend and stuff. Just giving me someone to talk to."

"Why the thanks now? I certainly hope you plan to remain my friend for just a bit longer," L said quietly, not sure if he should really joke around or not. Raito certainly sounded serious, but…

"Yeah. I…sorry, that was dumb, wasn't it? I just wanted to say it. Just so you knew."

"I'm insulted that you think I'm stupid enough to _not know_ unless you told me." L's brow rose.

"Ah, no." Raito put up his hands in a slightly defensive position. "I just meant--"

"I know what you meant," L interrupted. "I was kidding. You're certainly on edge today."

"Am I?"

"Judging by the hurt leg, the conversation you had with Mikami—in hushed tones, I might add—and the way your eye keeps habitually twitching, I'd almost say you were keeping something from me." L did not mention the bloodstained shirt, because that would be admitting he'd snooped.

"I'm not—I mean, so what, I can't have secrets? Do I have to run everything by you, now?" Raito switched tracks quickly, and L could see that he was growing angry.

"I was just worried, Raito-kun."

"Because everybody worries about poor, crazy Raito, right?" muttered the younger angrily.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." L stood up. "I need to go now anyway."

"Wait!" Raito grabbed L's arm as he turned to leave, but then released it quickly, as if it was infested with something unspeakable. "Um. I meant what I said before."

L blinked. "I know you did." _"He's acting very odd today. Obviously the bloody shirt, and the issue with Mikami, but that's not all. His mannerisms…he's acting like he's on his deathbed, wanting me to know things before it's too late._

"_Or maybe _I'm _the one on my deathbed…"_

L shook that thought away, disturbing as it was, because Raito was speaking.

"—just wanted to say that. That's all. Yeah." Raito waited in silence for a few more seconds before suddenly pulling L into a quick, awkward one-armed hug, and then releasing him and rubbing his hands on his sleeves.

"What was that for?" asked L, torn between amusement and worry.

"I already told you." Raito tried to smile, but it came out looking like a grimace. "Didn't you have somewhere to be?"

"What—oh yes, I did, didn't I? Well, bye then. See you tomorrow, Raito." L gave a small wave.

"Bye, Ryuzaki." said Raito in a small voice. L gave him one last, long glance before leaving the room, leaving Raito in silence. Raito sat down on his bed and exhaled deeply, gripping the mattress for support. _"Too bad there won't be a tomorrow, Ryuzaki."_

---------------

It was only after L had gotten back to his apartment and finished up yet another painfully easy case that he realized that the delay with the opening of the door when he'd been in Raito's room today, and the look Raito had shot him as he was coming in, might have been because Raito wanted to give him time to search. To find the cloth.

But why would he want to be discovered? Mysteries and mysteries…

---------------

_---The Previous Evening—_

The note had shown up in Raito's food, although Raito was at a loss to how it got there. Misa had been the one who'd given him the food (he hadn't much felt like leaving his room, and she was always up to doing favors for him), but Raito was fairly sure Misa hadn't been the one who'd delivered the note.

It was small, just a sticky note, and on the front of it was written _'Double Shipment of Mashed Potatoes due Tues.'_

But on the back, there was something much more interesting. _'Meet me in the basement at midnight. Your door will be unlocked.'_

Raito read the note once more, intrigued. Whoever it was certainly had a flair for the dramatic. _Meet me at midnight._ Just like a Shakespearean play, only weirder. Who was it? A patient, a doctor? Ryuzaki, maybe? But Ryuzaki would just come to his room if he wanted to talk to him, so that was unlikely. The most likely options were that it was a doctor that couldn't be seen talking to him (Mikami? Takada?) or a patient that was unable to (Near wouldn't want to. Mello?), but even then, he didn't have many ideas.

It might be dangerous. But the curiosity was insatiable, so he made up his mind to go at midnight. Basement? He hadn't known they had one—or at least, he'd never paid the door next to the janitor's closet much mind before, and that was probably it. Wasn't it supposed to be locked, though, to prevent excursions like these by the building's residents?

Although '_Your door will be unlocked' _sounded promising…he'd assume the basement door would be unlocked too, then.

Raito looked at the clock. It was seven o'clock. There were approximately five hours until midnight.

He'd wait it out impatiently.

----------------

At 12:01, he woke up sprawled across his bed with his clothes still on, looked at his clock, and stared at in uncomprehendingly for a few seconds before realizing the time and remembering his meeting, then swore under his breath and pulled himself out of bed. He tried the door of his room, and, to his surprise and amusement, found it unlocked, like the note had promised. He hadn't really been sure, but now it was definite.

Raito stepped quietly out into the hall, looking from end to end. All clear. He closed the door behind him. His feet, clad in white socks, made no sound as he padded down the hallway. He looked down at himself and realized that he'd stupidly gone out wearing a white shirt and light brown khakis, clearly visible in the dark. There was nothing to do about it now, though, he was already halfway down the hall, and late- it was 12:03.

He moved down the hallway, jumping out of his skin at every small creak or cough, painfully sure he was going to be discovered at every doorway. When he got to the janitor's closet at the end of the hall, he breathed a sigh of relief. The door to the right of the janitor's closet was old, and the brass of the doorknob had been nearly rubbed off by the harsh scrapes of many hands pulling it open and closed.

Raito opened the door and blinked at the sudden wall of darkness that confronted him. Wooden stairs descended into it, and a cool breeze blew across his face. He felt around the inside of the doorway, but couldn't find any light switch. It was probably at the bottom of the stares, or even in the janitor's closet to discourage trespassers.

There was nothing for it. He stepped inside, down onto the first step, and began to close the door behind him, when he realized something—he was descending into pitch black where an unknown person waited, who might have dangerous intent. It was stupid to close the door—but also stupid to leave it open, as someone would definitely see. He decided to compromise, and left the door one or two inches open.

Other than the quickly disappearing sliver of light from the doorway, there was no illumination from below. He descended the stairs, trying to be quiet, but the wooden stairs were old, and groaned and creaked as if in pain.

"_Arthritis stairs,"_ he thought. _"Very funny."_ He breathed out a single 'Heh' even though it wasn't.

He stopped before he hit the last stair, rocking back and forth a bit on it. There was still time to go back. But he'd gotten this far, why get so paranoid now?

He stepped off the last step and put a hand to the wall, and to his surprise and delight, felt the cool plastic protrusion of a light switch. He flipped it on, and for a few seconds, nothing happened. Suddenly, two things happened at once—lights hanging from the ceiling began to flicker on around the room, casting their dim yellow light across the basement, and something slammed very hard into his side, throwing him off his feet. Raito hit the cement ground with a thud, and there was no time to think before the same thing hit him again, knocking out of him the small amount of air he'd sucked in after the first blow. The third time, Raito was unconsciously determined not to be caught unawares. His conscious mind was a complete blank, and at the moment he couldn't gain anything from it, but the adrenaline rush and the body's brute need to survive drove him to kick at his attacker, and was rewarded with an 'oof' and a heavy thud as he fell back. Raito scrambled up, and gasped. "Ryuzaki!"

The dark haired man pulled himself into a standing position, shaking his head.

"Oh." Understanding struck Raito. "B, Right?"

"That's right." B turned for a second as if looking for something. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be helping me, Near?"

"Near?" Raito's eyes widened. "But—I don't understand! Why…"

"Listen, Kira. Your crimes have gone unpunished for long enough." Near had appeared without warning and was holding what looked like a plastic dinner knife. He seemed to be shaking a little bit. "We needed…to talk…"

"B convinced you to do this, right?" Raito's eyes narrowed.

Near gave a small, quick nod. Turning to B, he said, "I don't think I…I'm not doing this." The plastic knife clattered to the ground. "I can't."

"Traitor!" B growled. "I shouldn't have trusted you. I should have known you'd be too weak. Just like always. But no matter…" He pulled what looked like a roll of black electrical tape out of his back pocket. "I can do this myself."

Raito made the mental connection instantly, lowered his head, and ran and slammed himself into B's side, repaying the favor from earlier. He had to finish this, fast, or else he'd trigger something very dangerous, and he _knew _that, but he didn't know how to stop it other than to just keep thinking as Raito: _"Me, Raito, Ryuzaki, I'm just fine, I won't give in to this, Teru, Misa, Ryuzaki, Raito, Misa, Ryuzaki, Ryuzaki, Ryuzaki…" _The thought train was only barely keeping him suspended in consciousness, and he didn't dare stop.

He punched and kicked wildly, and B was too, and now there was no baiting, no feigning, just clutching onto each other and rolling and biting like wild animals. At some point they must have rolled across the spot where Near had been standing, because B was now clutching Near's plastic knife in one hand, and the boy himself had backed up against the wall, frozen like he didn't know who to help.

Raito realized B had a knife roughly two seconds before B stabbed him in the leg. Raito gave a strangled yell of pain and closed his eyes, knowing that if he saw the blood it would be over, and Kira would probably end up killing B and Near too, or being killed by one or the other. B punched Raito in the gut, and Raito felt the electric tape being wrapped around his left wrist. He kicked out wildly, heard a gasp, kicked again, when suddenly there were footsteps behind him, darkness obscuring his vision for a split second as someone soared over him and slammed into his attacker. Raito got up, still a little dazed, unable to comprehend the situation for a few seconds.

"Doctor…Teru?"

"That's me, alright," muttered Mikami, who was checking a now-unconscious B's pulse. "He's not dead, although I think he hit his head pretty hard." He looked back at Raito. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…fine." He was a little bruised from hitting the ground, and when surveying himself for injuries, remembered his leg, which began to hurt right on cue. "Except…oh. Ouch. It's bleeding." He gingerly lifted his ripped pants leg, and stared at it. It had only been a plastic knife, but it had been driven in deep, and the cut was only half an inch long, but it was bleeding like cra—he stopped and abruptly looked away as his head began to fog up, and he began to feel nauseous. Probably another effect of not wanting to see the blood, as opposed to a fear of the blood itself.

Mikami frowned. "What did he stab you with, a javelin?"

Raito gave a short laugh. "Nah. Plastic cutlery. Almost as effective, though."

Teru turned, saw Near. Rather than be surprised, he simply began to shrug off his coat. "I need to treat his war wound. Hold B on his side so that he doesn't choke on his tongue, will you?" Near, for a few seconds, did nothing, as if he hadn't heard, then nodded and peeled himself off the wall, coming over and kneeling down beside B to hold him sideways.

Mikami continued to take off his coat, then unbuttoned his shirt.

"What are you--"

"We need to stop the bleeding somehow, right? Plus, I have an excess of these shirts at home. Losing one isn't going to hurt." Mikami gave a thin, tensed smile, and wrapped his shirt around Raito's leg, tying it tightly before, after inspecting his handiwork, putting his white coat back on and buttoning it up all the way. He turned, and, seeing the plastic knife near B's dormant form, picked it up, adjusting his glasses as he examined it.

"Nothing's broken off, which means nothing's stuck in your leg. That's good; it would have been hard to treat you that way. But this sort of thing never would have been given to B. How did he…?"

"I…I got it for him," admitted Near, not meeting the eyes of the other two, who were now looking at him. "He told me we were going to do something important. I'm…sorry." He sounded a bit as if he were only doing his solemn duty saying it- it was obvious it wasn't something he was used to saying.

"Important indeed." Mikami gave Near a severe glare. "This has just caused a hell of a lot of trouble for me, and for you two, as well."

"I bet it's going to be a ton of paperwork… plus, the three of us won't be able to leave our rooms for at least a few months. There goes going back to study in an actual classroom in the fall."

"Listen, right now, that's the least of our worries. I don't have time to explain everything to you now, but…" Mikami frowned as if deep in thought.

"How did you know we were here?" Raito's rational thought was returning, and that was the first thing that popped into his head.

"This is going to make me sound like a bad person, but to be honest part of me didn't trust you. You weren't in your room when I went to check on you, B wasn't in his, and then I saw you left the basement door open. I put two and two together and ran down the stairs. You're just lucky I got here when I did. He would have killed you."

"He said we were going to put the body…in the grate. But I wouldn't have let him." Near looked at Raito. "I don't like you, but I saw you weren't the same as the other one… the one who…" He moved his hand vaguely across his stomach, and Raito winced. He'd heard from Ryuzaki about that. The other man mentioned it flippantly, as if he didn't believe Near's accusation, but that might have been an act for Raito's benefit. And, of all the people that Raito distrusted, and there were many, least of all did he trust himself.

"Okay, I need to think. I did have something worked out, but this blew it all to hell. Just…let me think, I need to think." Mikami put two fingers to each of his temples and rubbed, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes. Near and Raito looked at each other quickly, then back at the doctor, who was silent for at least five minutes before his eyes opened again and he nodded.

"Alright. Okay. I know what we're going to do. Going to try to do, anyway."

"And what would that be?" asked Near. "You still haven't explained what's going on."

"I can't. Not yet. But…alright." Mikami repeated the word again. It was a nervous habit. _Okay, alright, it's fine, okay, great, good, alright, okay, alright._ Like he was trying to reassure himself.

"Okay. Ratio, you're going to go back to your room and lock the door from the outside, shutting yourself inside. Hide that shirt after the bleeding has stopped. Tomorrow night, I'm going to come get you, and we're going to go to my house, okay? Just put some clothes in a bag, and anything else you consider precious."

"What about me?" asked Near.

"You…damn, this will be hard. You're going to go back to your room too, and I suppose I'll come get you tomorrow night too…although it'll be a little more suspicious if their most interesting patients disappear right under their noses in the same night. But it'll have to do. If I leave one of you behind for a while, it'll look stranger, and they might up security. We'll do it all tomorrow night."

"Do all what?" asked Raito, confused.

"Break you out of here, of course. But we need a reason. So you'll probably have to kidnap Near."

"What?!" Raito yelped as Near raised his eyebrows. "That sounds a bit…"

"Extreme?" Mikami laughed. "Sorry, but we're way past the point of anything but extreme at the moment. It'll be a bit hard to do, but we'll manage. We'll make all the signs point to you, Raito. Well, Kira. That he took Near and left. And then," Mikami turned his eyes upward as if some alternative would shine down in neon bright lights from above, "you'll both have to die."

Silence greeted this declaration. Near and Raito looked at each other, then back at Teru. "How?" asked Near quietly, with no trace of emotion.

"I haven't actually worked that out yet, but obviously you'll die before Raito. Or, I could have an outsider murder you both," he mused lightly. "We still have some time to decide."

"What about our families?" asked Raito.

"My parents are dead. I have no siblings," shrugged Near. "My last foster family put me here. It doesn't really matter for me."

"Raito, I think it's time we considered the possibility that you might have to go into hiding for a while," said Teru grimly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Is what's happening really that dangerous?"

"I'd say that if things continue like this, then yes, it will be. I'm sure that eventually we'll be okay, please just bare with me for a while. I'm going to leave a key in your room, Raito—and Near, if Takada's still sick I can cover for her by checking up on you, if not, I'll still offer because she'll have a lot of stuff to get caught up with. That shouldn't look too odd. Raito, you know where Near's room is, right?"

He got a terse nod in response, but it seemed to be enough. "Great. You'll kidnap Near, you two can both head out the window. I'm friends with one of the janitors, so don't worry, it won't be much of a problem unless the metal grate makes any noise when you drop it. Just climb out and run around the back of the building. Zigzag. Make it hard for them to follow your trail. If you can get to the little road, just beyond the parking lot, I'll be right in front of the gate—I have a pass to get in and out. I'll probably borrow someone else's car too, just to be safe."

"Are there cameras in the rooms?" asked Near.

"I don't think so, but there definitely will be in the hallways. Even still, put on a convincing act, just in case. Don't forget your bags of clothes and other precious things."

"Wouldn't it look weird if I asked him to bring bags?" Raito asked, trying to adapt to the situation. It was a necessary response mechanism to keep him from panicking. It wasn't really working.

"That's a good point, but it'd really only be a big problem with anyone else. Raito, your alter-ego won't even need a reason. Your 'why' can be ridiculous as you like, it will be accepted…I mean, I hope it will. If you can't find a way to pull it off, just leave them behind. You can always buy new things. Whatever the situation calls for. Just remember that, okay?"

Mikami made Near and Raito promise him that they'd follow his plan exactly before taking them back upstairs, hoisting an unconscious B in piggyback position over his shoulders. "It's sad," he whispered to Raito as they went up. "I actually used to like to talk to him, before, well…you know. He was a very interesting person."

Raito assured Mikami that he knew that was the case, but before Mikami had left him to find his own room (so that the doctor could make sure Near and B were back safely in theirs) Raito turned to him and asked quietly:

"Maybe I could talk to Ryuzaki before I leave? You know…to…say goodbye and stuff."

Teru frowned, adjusting B's position on his shoulders, as Near turned his head pointedly away. From anyone else it may have been odd, but for the younger boy it was a sign of respect for Raito's privacy, which he silently thanked Near for.

"I'm sorry, but then he'd know what we're doing. He might try and stop you."

"What if I don't phrase it like a goodbye? Just an overly-mawkish little chat. Just so he knows I appreciated his company."

Mikami looked at Raito for a second before sighing and nodding. "Alright," he relented. "I can see how important this is for you. But I'm coming in there if he's there too long."

"Thank you," said Raito, relieved. At least he wouldn't leave Ryuzaki completely in the dark.

"Raito," Teru smiled wearily. "I need to take Near and B back to their rooms, but you can get back yourself, right?"

"Of course." He turned to go.

"And Raito?" Raito turned to see Teru looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"Remember what I told you. Don't forget what to do. And I'm sorry."

He didn't say for what, but really, no explanation was needed.

_---The Next Day—_

Raito looked at L as Mikami closed the door, leaving him alone inside Raito's room, and Teru and Raito standing awkwardly in the hallway.

Raito crossed his arms. "You said he could visit me."

"I did," said Mikami. "I just wanted to make sure you hadn't told him anything…you looked to be getting a bit…"

"Like I needed rescuing, or like I was going to have a breakdown? I thought you trusted me." Raito was not going to tell Ryuzaki anything. He couldn't lie, though, even to himself, that he did not want his friend to find out what was going on. Somehow the thought of Ryuzaki thinking he was dead, and then grieving over him, or worse, forgetting about him, was more than he could bear. But he couldn't break his promise to Teru, either. So he wasn't going to tell Ryuzaki…

Ryuzaki was going to find out on his own.

"I did! I mean, I do, really. That wasn't what I got you for, though."

Raito's defensive stance lowered a bit. "What?"

"This morning, B was coherent enough to tell Takada that you and he had fought. He was boasting about it," said Mikami grimly.

"But," Raito struggled to think, refusing to be overcome by panic, "no one's going to believe him, right? At this point nobody's taking his word seriously."

"We can only hope so. I just wanted to make you aware of the situation. How are you feeling? No visible injuries, other than the plastic knife cut that's covered by your pant leg?"

"Not really. That leg got bit bashed and it hurts when I walk, and my back hurts from falling so much, but I can hide it pretty well. Kind of."

"Do that. If anyone questions you about last night, tries to spring something on you, be prepared. Hide it. Oh," he added as an afterthought. "And I can bring you food. Don't eat anything they give you."

"You think they'd drug me?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," responded Mikami grimly. "I have to go now. I've got to go tell Near, too."

"Okay. Thanks for the advice." Raito turned to go back into his room.

"Are you scared?"

The question caught him off guard, and Raito paused with his hand on the doorknob, and then smiled.

"I'd be insane not to be."

_---The Next Morning---_

L woke up, a headache already beginning to pound in his head. Thanks to spending so much time with Raito the day prior, he had missed the news of a development in an important missing persons case that he'd been working on for a while, and had needed to stay up until three am in order to catch up with his enormous workload.

He sighed. Such was the life of a detective. L glanced at the clock. Nine forty. Not bad, not too good either. He wouldn't have much time for breakfast.

He rolled over from his awkward sleeping position curled up against the wall. No matter where he was when he went to sleep, he always ended up in that position. He supposed it was a psychological thing, that the wall offered more protection. This didn't make much sense to his waking mind, however, so he didn't think about it much.

Light filtered in through the room, and L scowled (how dare it be so bright when his head hurt so much!), walking out the door down the hallway, already adjusting to his lack of sleep the night before. He opened the door into the kitchen and blinked. Watari was standing off to the side, not in his usual morning blue bathrobe, but fully-dressed, albeit looking a tad frazzled.

L frowned. "Watari, what's the matter? Is there somewhere you need to go?"

"Well, there's somewhere you'll want to go," sighed Watari. "I wouldn't, but _you_ will want to."

"Why? Where?"

"Namikawa Hospital. Yagami Raito has gone missing."

---------------

AN: …Well, at least it's a long 'un, eh?

DO NOT FORGET TO THANK THE LUVERLY DLVVANZOR FOR BETA-ING THIS TRIPPY THING YET AGAIN! And pointing out that I am enter-key challenged, meaning that without her keen eye, Raito would have started having a conversation with himself, and you'd either be very confused or think that now he's schizophrenic too =)

So, where are they right now anyway? Japan or England? O_o

Please, thoughts, comments, questions or concerns? What's going on with this hospitally sort of thing? Who's side is Mikami on, really? How is Mello going to deal with Near's disappearance? Come on, show me your brainpower!!!

As always, reviews are loved. Makes it easier to get through my day =)


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